Sunday, January 16, 2011


I'm really wondering whether the FDA's big sting operation thingy, on selling cigarettes to minors (I had to read a paper on it at work, basically saying "OMG CARD EVERYBODY!!") has made it down to our area.

Twice tonight I had young-ish looking people come in and want to buy tobacco products without ID.

Both times they attempted to have someone else buy for them, in such a blatant manner that it almost had to be a set up.

Seriously, asking me if those two girls by the soda fountain are "grown ups"? Or sending back in the kid I'd just sold chew to (who I've carded forty seven dozen times and finally got it knocked into my head that he's 19) back in?

No. First off, I can't sell you tobacco if you look under thirty and don't have ID. Secondly, no, I'm not just being a bitch to you. Technically I'm breaking the rules by selling to the kid in front of you, but the company lets it slide in small stores where we know everyone, if we have carded them multiple times anyway. Technically, I'm breaking the law by doing that. But by the time I can key in their birth date from memory, everyone tends to let it slide.

If you come into the store multiple times expecting me to sell you tobacco without an ID, without ever having given me an ID, I'm not going to sell you tobacco, period. Also, if you're going to make a fake, remember a couple of handy hints. First, most states' licenses aren't laminated printer paper, and they usually spell license correctly. Also, "honey" is not a hair color they tend to put on identification.

I'm not kidding on any of this, by the way. I've seen all of those, at one time or another.

Anyway, the dumbassery tonight makes me wonder if I passed the FDA's hamhanded attempt at checking up on idiot clerks.


DaddyBear said...

Our tax dollars at work.

And the find craftsmanship of the fake ID has been destroyed by teenagers with inkjet printers. Where's the artistry of the starving college student with a Heidelberg press?

Old NFO said...

LOL- Sounds like ANOTHER fun night at the counter... You DID do the right thing though, set up or not, you played by the rules.

Chas S. Clifton said...

FDA? Or is the local sheriff's department feeling under-employed?

Anonymous said...

No idiots left behind is the new program schools seem to be using. They can't spell and they can't do basic math. Several years ago I tried to explain to a young clerk how to calculate percentage and I totally lost her when I said to take the cost x 0.85 to calculate a 15% discount. I had her head spinning and she never did get it. My 13 year old was laughing so hard because he already had it calculated in his head!!!

OrangeNeck said...

Did you also confiscate those fake ID cards, too? It would be funny if you did and started a "wall of shame" with them.

Jon said...

I know a store owner that had a clerk make the mistake of selling alcohol to a minor during a sting operation. They charged the clerk, taped off the coolers and the owner wasn't allowed to sell any alcoholic beverages for the alloted time.

That was years ago in Texas. I'm thinking that today, a mistake of this magnitude would end in life without parole, capital punishment or maybe drawing and quartering.

Counsel said...

The clerk gets charged, and the owner denies knowledge... Watch your back!

momiss said...

Great post! I found your site through the lawdog files. I'll be back. Hilarious!