Thursday, February 9, 2012

Now I Need A Sham-Wow

To clean up the coffee I spewed across the living room this morning when I saw the new infomercial from Hooker-Beater-Boy.

So I'm sitting there sort of listening to the TV as I suck down my first cup of coffee of the morning and I hear his voice. I'm thinking "Oh the sham-wow shit is on again" but noooo he's shilling for some silicon super roller thingy.

Anyway about two minutes in he's talking about the mini one (and I'm looking for facial scars from his being whupped by a hooker) and suddenly he's standing in front of a wall with lines on it... using the mini thingy to roll lint off his shirt... with the dialogue: "And it's great for neatening up before those important photos..." and the camera pulls back.... and he's posed for a mug shot.

Ok if you have to be nationally known for getting a mudhole stomped in your ass by Shaniqua from the corner of Ninth and Main... when you come back to being an overly-caffeinated jackass selling utter crap on the TV... well, that's about the only way I can see to do it, frankly.