Monday, April 7, 2014

Random Gripes

Maybe it's the fact that I'm working nights again and the body isn't entirely appreciating the swap, especially since we have had some nice daytime weather.

Or maybe I'm just seeing a bunch of stuff that makes me cranky lately. Who knows? I figured I'd share a couple of my random gripes with ya'll, though they share a very general common theme:

1. Cismale/female whatever gender whatsit.

Here's the thing: I don't give a flying monkey buttcrack whether you think of yourself as a man or a woman or if you prefer to think of your sexuality as "Flying monkey buttcrack." It's none of my damn business. That being said: It's none of my damn business. Stop jumping up and down on the rainbow colored trampoline and waving a big ole look at me flag and then complaining because people are offended by you shoving your personal business in their face. No, you shouldn't have to conform to what someone else thinks. No, you shouldn't be ostracized or victimized because of the way you view yourself. But I shouldn't be forced to know more about your personal preferences than I want to. And let's face facts, for the transvestites and transsexuals: If you look like a man trying really hard to look like a woman and failing, people are going to react to that. Same goes for the other way around. It's not something people outside of a few locales see every day. I wouldn't expect not to get looks if I went riding my horse in full western getup down Fifth Avenue or Rodeo Drive.

And before anyone can say "yeah but they wouldn't be looking at you with disgust" I'm gonna call bullshit on that one preemptively. Lots of segments of society look at me, my lifestyle, and my origins with disdain, and disgust. The difference is that I write them off as ignorant and move on. I probably wouldn't get physically assaulted for it, granted, and no it's not ok that anyone has to worry about that for their lifestyle choices. But there's also a certain amount of be smart involved. It's not ok that as a small female I have to worry about being grabbed in bars, or walking down dark alleys in certain locations. But, just because it's not ok and I don't like it doesn't mean the world conforms to my wishes and suddenly all of the violent people in the world who target small females just stop.

I try to be smart about where I go and what I do, I've taken steps to be able to defend myself, and I go on with life. It's not ok that I, or anyone, has to worry about being attacked. But it's also not ok to expect everyone else to take care of you. Fact is it's a big bad dangerous world and if someone tries to hurt you your best defense is not societal acceptance, it's yourself. Most of society accepts that I have a vagina and feel like I should have a vagina just fine. That doesn't mean that someone isn't going to try to hurt me because I'm female, or because I'm a smartass, or just because they think they can.

Yes, everyone has a right to be who they want to be (unless who they want to be is hurting others, in which case, that's not ok) and no I don't think it's right for people to judge the way Trans (I guess it's capitalized? I dunno...) folks live their lives, much less get physical about it. But the LBGTwhatever community doesn't get to vilify everyone who isn't either. I am not broken because I was born with a vagina and feel like I ought to have a vagina. I am not wrong because I don't intimately understand the emotional drive of someone who isn't that way. It works the other way around, too, but just because I don't get it on that instinctive understanding level doesn't mean that I'm their enemy.

Go live your life, be a good person, and good people will want to be around you and support you. That'll work way better than what I've been seeing a lot of: Attention whoring and then throwing the discrimination card when someone calls them on the attention whoring.

For all I write a blog and have "fans" I'm not all that fond of the spotlight. That's why I do this instead of stand up comedy or acting or other fame-grabbing things. That's why I write under a pseudonym. I know there are those who have met me in person, even at blog meets and such, who have noticed me cringing a little when someone "recognizes" me. I don't mind meeting people and interacting with them, but being "known" before I really talk to them? It makes me squirm. Yeah, I'm a wierdo, I've never denied it.

And I'm not a huge fan of those who deliberately do things solely for the attention it gets them, regardless of any other aspects of their lifestyle. So no, I don't give a crap if you're one of the umpty-eleven new gender definitions available on Facebook. I do give a crap if you shove it in my face in the name of "gaining acceptance."

Nobody gives a crap that my second toe is smaller than my big toe. If your gender and sexual identities are just part of who you are, then nobody not in your bedroom or otherwise needing to know should give a crap about them either. Screaming about it just makes you annoying and makes people less likely to listen to your actual message over all of the hysteria.


Ok, yes, there are definitely badge-heavy individuals in the law enforcement profession. Yes, there are bad things that they do. Yes they should have to face consequences for them.

But, and I see this entirely too much in the gunnie community considering how we all rail against a few bad apples giving us a bad rep: that doesn't mean that they're all awful. Or that, having done something awful themselves, every awful thing that could possibly happen to them is suddenly justified.

I'm really tired of seeing the "it's bad when it happens to me but not when I do it to them" crap. I saw an article linked on the bookface about a cop who had previously done something shitty being assaulted by three people and the headline was absolutely crowing about it.

This is not okay. I admit I have my own violent urges in certain circumstances. There are people that I would get immense satisfaction out of laying a beat-down on them at this very moment. But that doesn't make it okay. They've done things that I see as awful and deserving of consequences, but that doesn't mean that I have the right to create those consequences for them outside the bounds of the law.

And every time someone does that, especially with law enforcement, they erode away at the good cops' belief in humanity. By treating all law enforcement as the enemy (they're not) and by people attacking officers, they're creating the situation they're railing against. Because I'll guarantee you that every time an officer gets attacked or they have a hostile interaction with a member of the public, the LEOs I know become a little more guarded, a little less willing to trust the public. And I can't really blame them, they deserve to go home at night if they can. Thing is, they've volunteered to put themselves in the position of maybe not going home, so that the public can.

Personally, having known and had interactions with good and bad law enforcement, I operate on a very simple premise: The uniform gets respect first. They can definitely lose that respect based on their interactions with me, but they get a certain amount of respect just for showing up. It's the same thing I give to our men and women in the military.

Stop vilifying a profession that does still attract the truly good people who honestly want to help others because it also happens to attract people who get off on the power trip. Alternately, feel free to go through the training and put on a badge every day knowing that today you might just be the one that's not going home, so that Susie Homemaker and her kids can.

The general theme here? It's not black and white, not everyone in any group is evil, and I'm really tired of people acting like someone is better or worse than someone else based on some random douchebag or saint. Plus, doing so (in either direction) makes you look like a fanatic idiot.

If I could afford it I'd buy the whole world a nice new pair of big girl panties and tell 'em to pull 'em up and get on with life, but I can't. So instead I'll gripe on my own little corner of the internet.

Oh, and if you don't like anything I've said? Feel free to comment and tell me why, but if you can't have an actual conversation about it, I'm just going to make fun of you for acting like a fanatic.