Saturday, November 5, 2011

Smoke Count

So. Due to the loving encouragement (with a minimum of dirty looks, sighs, and grumbling, considering the original plan had me quit and rolling in all the money I had saved by now) of my Darlin' Man, I've gone entirely tobacco free.

Not nicotine free, mind. The electronic cigarette is a wonderful thing and keeps the urge to kill people with dull knives, spoons, vehicles, European style deer head mounts, and/or whatever happens to be at hand, at only a slightly higher level than normal.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't some withdrawal symptoms... mostly psychological (it's not a fucking cigarette goddamnit and I want a cigarette!) but a few physical.

When I tried quitting with patches I had about the same level of the symptoms I have now... problem there was the insomnia coupled with vivid, emotionally upsetting dreams when I did get to sleep. We're talking, wake up bawling because your beloved (and dead) relatives are enumerating your many failures kind of upsetting. Farmmom was with me on that run, and she got vivid dreams too, but she got to dream of cinnamon rolls.

Tell me, how exactly is that fair?

Anywho, I got off cigarettes that way, but the lack of sleep and the dreams made me rush the system, trying to get past the chemically induced nightmares. When I decided to take the patch off, my mouth erupted in canker sores. We're talking seven big ones on my tongue alone, with even more all over the inside of my mouth. I couldn't eat, couldn't drink anything but tea (tannic acid numbs mouth sores) for several days. Doc basically said "that's an interesting presentation of nicotine withdrawals," and told me I had to wait it out.

I bought a pack of cigs when I left the doc's office. I can't afford not to eat with my metabolism.

There's been enough of a drop in my levels this time that while my mouth hasn't erupted in sores, the one spot I managed to bite myself in earlier in the week is refusing to heal. Irritating, but not goal smashing.

Another example is the cognitive twitches... my brain isn't working the way I'm used to it working.

For instance... earlier today I told Farmmom I was going on thirty six hours without a cigarette. Only problem with that is that yesterday I was at forty eight hours. Somehow my brain added twenty four to forty eight and came up thirty six, and I didn't even think about it until I started to write this post.

Aggravating. Everything is slightly slower, I'm taking noticeably more time to assess problems and decide on a course of action. Yesterday I locked my keys in my car... which doesn't seem like a big deal except that thanks to the key being chipped I have precisely one key to my car, and I can't get copies unless I drop big bucks at a dealership. So I'm always very careful to make sure I don't lock the keys in the car. Shortly after that I realized that Ford seems to be concerned with the same thing, since the car won't stay locked if the key is in the ignition. Didn't save me earlier since the keys were sitting on the seat, but it's nice to know now.

Anyway. 72 hours later today. They say after the third day things ease up. Here's hoping, cause I sure miss my brain.