Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Small Town Foot Chase Ends In Hilarity

Breaking News!

In Small Town, Colorado, earlier this evening, there was a a vehicular pursuit followed by a foot chase.

Witnesses report seeing an early model faded red pickup with no tailgate enter precipitously into the alley behind the former Cheapskate Shoe Store. Shortly thereafter a Small Town Police vehicle rounded the corner and proceeded, as well, into the alley.

Neighbors say that approximately one minute after the Small Town Police vehicle entered the alley, a man, described as being approximately six feet tall, around two hundred pounds, with long dark hair wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans appeared on the street, running north towards the court house.

What we assume to be the object of the pursuit ran down the street one or two houses, and ducked back towards the alley. Shortly thereafter, a Small Town Police officer popped out into the street in the middle of the block. Upon ascertaining that the object of his search was not, in fact, standing in the middle of the street waiting for him, the officer looked to a nearby citizen for some enlightenment.

The senior citizen (and good Samaritan) pointed the officer in the proper direction, and continued with his evening stroll.

The officer, who is at this time unidentified, jogged down the street until he saw a likely opening between houses to his right, at which point he jigged left, jumped right, jigged left again, and dashed out of witnesses' sight.

Mere minutes later, backup arrived in the form of two Boonie County Sheriff's officers, who proceeded to search the abandoned lot full of junk for a full ten minutes before concluding that their suspect had indeed, gotten away.

Reports say that the officers then went back to their respective departments to complain about running in this damn heat.

At the current time, to the best of this reporter's knowledge, the pursued's vehicle is still sitting where he left it, with no apparent surveillance.

Small Town grapevine is calling this the event of the year, so far, and has dubbed the occurrence "Keystone Kops, Small Town Edition."

Keep it tuned right here for updates!