Thanks to OK Katrina for slapping me upside the head with a realization.
Katrina mentioned Monkey, which got me thinking.
It's a training issue. I have to train myself not to smoke.
And, in training, you build upon the previous lessons.
You don't take a horse that's never seen cattle and expect them to do a perfect cut right away.
You break it down into steps, work on each small step until it's easy for the horse, and then move on to the next.
I started to do that, by cutting back on my smoking, but I wasn't cut back enough to go to cold turkey when I ran out of cigarettes. I had my horse loping on the proper lead, and then asked it to run 13 second barrels. It just doesn't work that way.
And, in case of training failure, you back up, go back to the basics, and build from there.
So, I'm backing up.
I bought a pack of cigarettes, and I'm going back to the cutting back stage. I bought menthols, because, frankly, they're disgusting to me, and that makes it easier to resist.
The cigarettes are on the top shelf of the pantry, far enough back that they're difficult to reach. The lighter is in the junk drawer. The ashtrays are over the stove.
I have to expend effort to get a cigarette, but I'm not going to expect myself to be perfect right away anymore.
I had been thinking of this as just a matter of making myself do it, and do it now.
Thanks again, OK Katrina, for reminding me of what I should have remembered myself.
So. Re-training, Day One. It's going to be a long road, but patience will get me there faster than force, I think.
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5 comments:
My pleasure. I'm glad you were encouraged, which was really my only goal. That it sparked a new and possibly more successful course of action, that's gravy.
"So. Re-training, Day One. It's going to be a long road, but patience will get me there faster than force, I think."
I think between you and OK Katrina, you've hit it. You know, it can be harder to be patient with yourself than it is to be patient with a horse.
I don't know if this thought helps matters or not, but I remember several years when I was on crutches... I ran into a guy who said he'd spent time on them. He said you just don't get in a hurry with them. Could be sorta the same as your cutting back phase. Either way, be patient with yourself.
Hun your doing fine .
The (living) patients that I've had who've quit have just stopped. Even the guy with the five-pack-a-day unfiltered Camel habit. Put the cigs down and stopped.
Granted, with some of them, they were worried that the oxygen would catch fire. But just stop. It'll suck. But, really, the cutting down just prolongs the agony.
Besides, you won't stink. And you won't lose body parts.
You didn't stop YET. Just stop again.--Of course, you could get yourself put somewhere for 48 hours where you CAN'T smoke, but that gets expensive
good luck to you. this must be one of the hardest things to do.
Holly W
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