Saturday, February 23, 2008

A Friendly Note To The Neighbors.

Dear Neighbors:

I understand that you folks have a large family on a single income. I understand completely the pressures of taking care of a family on a limited amount of money. I even understand that kids will be kids and noisy sometimes.

However, it is not that expensive to buy lightbulbs, nor lamps. Lamps in your apartment would allow you to pop your son's cyst in the privacy of your own home. They would negate the need to open your door to see to change the baby's diaper when it is screaming like a banshee.

Also, it is not necessary to turn the rampaging horde of elephant-footed children out into the halls at nine o'clock at night to keep the rest of the building awake.

You see, I get up early. I know you know it because I've seen you glaring out your door on the mornings after your spawn have been thundering up and down the stairs until after midnight, because on those mornings, I don't take any particular care to be quiet when I leave in the morning. When your offspring don't keep me up, I won't wake you up.

Oh, and when you come begging for ten dollars so that you can get medicine for your daughter, having just gotten back from the ER, and I tell you I don't have any cash, don't look at me like I'm a racist just because I'm white and you're not. I could give a crap what color you or your kids are. If I'd had the money I'd have loaned it to you, because I'm a nice person like that. Unfortunately, because of your attitude, you've convinced me that you feel entitled to anything you want, which I see as a serious character flaw and not to be encouraged.

And by the way, the next time one of your kids knocks on my window I'm going to have to smack them upside their little head.

So, to summarize... I don't need to walk out my door to see you popping your son's cysts, hear your baby screaming her head off, or the thundering herd up and down the stairs, or have your children knocking on my window.



Well That Sucks.

I don't know what the deal was last night, but I woke up at eleven, and couldn't get back to sleep until after one. It's gonna be a loooong day.