Friday, October 12, 2007

Oh, yeah, I'm anorexic...

I heard this one again today. People seem convinced that I have some kind of eating disorder, and depending on the personality of the person involved, offer helpful advice, accusations, or in one case, a nice ham sandwitch.

Those people have never seen me eat. Ask the Farmparents, if you like.

Tonight, for dinner, I just finished a ten-ounce steak, a can of green beans, and half of a package of Lipton Noodle Sides. Not half a serving, half of the total amount produced. I'll finish off the rest of it in a few hours for a before-bed snack.

Yes, my metabolism is that high. Now imagine how I feel when I eat like that and step on the scales to find out that I've actually lost a pound.

Frustrating. There are times that I'm just not hungry, and I have to force myself to eat, lest I fall off my horse from fainting.

And then there are times that I eat like a pig, as evidenced tonight. And even during those times (sometimes especially) it seems like it's a constant battle to maintain my weight, which is low enough anyway that every time I go in for an annual check up, they test me for anemia.

I guess some people just have to find something wrong with everyone else, right off the bat. They don't give the person a chance to display their own faults, which people almost invariably do, they just pick something, and harp on it.

Fine, I'm skinny, and you feel that you're over weight. Tell you what, why don't you get off your butt and exercise, and I'll go over here and eat snack cakes and sit on my ass for a while. Eventually, one of our weight situations is bound to reverse itself, but I'll bet yours does before mine.

Aggravating, and funny, at the same time.

But Damn, that dinner was goooood.... I feel like a little piggy.

9 comments:

Farmmom said...

No joke! My grocery bill went down by half when she went to college!

Mark said...

This sounds like my youngest daughter who tease by telling her she suffers from HLS (Hollow Leg syndrome) as she eats and eats and eats, and still is skinny as a rail. Scary sometimes

Chris in SE TX said...

Farmgirl,
FUCK YOU!!!

I'm sorry, that came out kind of harsh....

hmmm....

FUCK YOU!!!

Damn.....

....Oh well....

I'm sorry...

.... I get kind of irrational when people bitch about not being able to GAIN FUCKING WEIGHT!!!!!

That having been said, I still adore you...

...(spit)...

was that out loud...??

(skinny bitch... er... cool person of feminine persuasion....)

I'm sorry, I was just looking at my fat rolls jiggle, and I let it get the best of me....

Murphy said...

But tell us how you really feel, Chris (Har!)


Me, one of the (few) lessons that I have learned when it comes to the wimmens is that the only acceptable response to looks or weight is 'You look maahvelous'.

Chris in SE TX said...

Murphy,
but it doesn't work!!!!

When my wife feels fat, it doesn't matter how much I tell her that she looks great..... (well, I hope she appreciates me saying it, but her response is still " I look like a cow....) Argh!!!!

Women are too fixiated on weight in our culture....

.... and .....

DAMN IT! It has rubbed off on ME and now I am fixiated on MY weight, too!!!!!

Oh my God, I'm becomming a woman! (shudder)

BTW, Farmgirl, I still adore you!

Farmgirl said...

Hey Chris, do me a favor, and kiss my lily white ass over the weight issue.

It's damn near as sensitive for me as it is for anyone who's overweight. I make light of it, but it is sensitive.

Maybe you look in the mirror and see an overweight man. I look in the mirror some days and see a freaking skeleton.

So take a deep breath, and a step back, and go think about this one: For every person who feels that they're overweight and trying to lose, there's someone, somewhere, that feels they're underweight, who's pulling their pants up every five minutes and eying their plate with a certain sense of disgust.

Apparently, the difference between our two weight problems is that I'm not allowed to have a problem with my weight. Nevermind when I drop below a hundred pounds, it's all good, because I'm thin.

Or not.

Chris in SE TX said...

Farmgirl, I didn't really mean to sound like I was serious.... Sorry!

I guess this wasn't the best subject to try to be funny....

Again, I'm sorry!

jon spencer said...

Don't worry if you are like most people, in a few years you will be able to look at food and put on pounds.
If you are one of those that are always skinny you will be able to keep the chubby in a "why me" mode.
If you want you will be able to drive some of those insane.

Anonymous said...

Ditto Jon Spencer; I am 5'11''; at age 28 I weighed 110; now i fight to stay at 155-160...