The Kentucky Derby

Every year, I wait impatiently for Derby Day. The most exciting two minutes in sports, surrounded by a day full of pageantry and pomp, a return to old-style southern luxury, and of course, lots of big floppy hats.

Here's the kicker. I don't follow racing. I know the big stables, and all that, but I don't follow it obsessively. Just the Triple Crown, and yes, I was watching when Barbaro broke his leg. I knew something was wrong before the announcer did, and the heart that he displayed by fighting to run anyway made me cry.

I have, however, been to Churchill Downs. I was in awe the entire time. Meanwhile, my ex was bored out of his mind while I gazed avidly around on the backside tour, touched the memorial headstones near the Kentucky Derby Museum reverently, and drug him to the grandstands to watch the day's races.

I didn't care, I was at Churchill.

So, every year I watch the Triple Crown. No mint juleps for me, but I will kick back with a beer or a mixed drink and cheer.

Another odd thing about me... I don't do predictions until they're on their way to the gate. I can research the horses, look at their workout times, do all of the things you're supposed to do to pick the winner.... and I'll be wrong.

But if I watch them head to the gate, and pick a horse then, that horse will at least show, more often than not. It's a talent I have.

So, welcome to Derby Day, grab your hats and some bourbon and settle in, folks, cause it's time for the Sport of Kings.

Sorry Folks

I would write a real post but things are hectic and nothing entertaining is really happening.

We're working cows this weekend, and Sparky is coming along, so there should be a post in that, at least...

And, I was going to use the video from the show as filler, but I'm still trying to hog-wrestle it into submission. Stupid software.

So, in lieu of actual content, I give you pictures from the show. These were taken by Farmdad, so enjoy.


This one is just a good one of Monkey. Bad one of me, but a good one of him. Please, no criticism on my seat here folks, I know it's wrong, but I was nursing some lovely bruises and a bruised tailbone that day. I was just trying not to seize up, start crying, and slide out of my saddle to the ground every time I bumped my butt.
This one shows his big ol' long stride. This is his "collected" canter, folks. He's bred for reaching out there and eating up the ground, and he can do it for hours.
This is Red, the miniature wonder, and Sparky. He looks a lot better with someone on his back than he does without them, which should tell you just how ugly he is without a rider. But Sparky has made excellent progress with him the last three months, and I'm proud of how well he's doing now.


And here we have E and Etta. She's so small she makes E look like the Jolly Green Giant. But she's gonna make a hell of a horse, I think.

Below are a couple of just good pics. The first, the young man in the green shirt is the guy who won the HTM portion of the show, and the handmade saddle, the second is just a gorgeous pic of one of the colts. The horse in the second pic is named "Baby," and is beautiful, but dumb as a brick, alas.

My Horse...

Is made of contrary.

I talk about how good he's been doing the few days before the show, and he dumps me.... rather spectacularly.... and gives me a set of bruises and sore spots that are extremely inconvenient.

Saddle horns are quite hard and when your horse tries to give you a colonoscopy with one it makes for a quite painful few days.

The ground didn't hurt me that bad, I managed to roll and just bumped my head a little. But, since I was asleep at the wheel, Dipstick The Rough Stock Wonder got me up on the horn (trust me guys, it hurts when a girl gets racked too) and then in front of the horn for a couple of jumps.

Of course, he was being good and I was being nice, so he had a nice loose rein.... so I was a long way from having his head. I knew about the third jump I was coming off, it was just a matter of doing it where I wouldn't land on someone.

So yeah, bruised my tailbone, got nice big bruises in spots that I don't usually show until after the third date, and generally sored myself up the day before the show.

Getting on him yesterday was an exercise in self-torture. But, the show must go on. And, it was highly amusing for everyone around me to listen to me whimper when I swung my leg over him. Marilyn in particular was entertained.

Warmup... Monkey was a spazz. He spooked at people walking by the round pen, where we'd gone because I didn't know what he was going to do and there were a lot of people to run into in the arena if things did go rodeo. Then he spooked at a tumble weed in the arena. It wasn't even blowing, it was just up against the fence. Twitchy, spooky, wouldn't pick up his left lead for love or money.

I spent most of my conversational time telling everyone that as long as he didn't kill me, I'd be happy.

Marilyn's parting comment before I went in the arena to do my pattern was "Keep the horse between you and the ground."

And we won.

No joke, that contrary piece of horseflesh won the show, after all of the crap he put me through, after piling my ass in front of god and everybody, he won. Not without making me want to cry and fall out of the saddle when he jumped out of a rollback and shoved me back into the cantle, of course, but he won.

And you can't tell that I'm about to wet myself on the video, which I'll try to edit (the software that came with the camera is crap) and get posted asap.

Five hundred dollar scholarship for next semester, makes my wallet happy, but right now I'm still sore as hell... I kept myself loose enough yesterday because I stretched everything out when I got up, then didn't slow down long enough to stiffen up again. Today, my body is making me pay for making it ride yesterday.

Neck, back, a little on the ribs, of course my tailbone and extreme inner upper right thigh (big ol' lovely bruise there, too) are really sore. Then there's the all over body-ache, which is easy enough to deal with. I just sit down suddenly, or at the wrong angle, and I forget all about the muscle aches.

Farmmom is over the moon, of course. I thought she was gonna bust when our portion of the show was over and I had the high score.

During the awards presentation, I just knew that Marilyn was being evil to me when she announced a new award. The Ground Greeter's Award.

Fortunately, two of the HTM students tied for that one, with Marilyn telling me later that they had "a couple" more buck-offs than I did.

I just knew I was going to have to wave my hat and smile for the crowd while I was plotting how best to get revenge. Instead I got to cheer for the winners and laugh.

But, we won, the horses are home, I get to heal up until next weekend when we work cows again, and I got accolades from HTM students that have spent a lot of time looking down on us lowly EBMers, simply for getting back on my horse after he went rodeo, and riding the next day.

Well, what else was I supposed to do?

Unfortunate Word Choice.....

So, anyone who has written anything knows the value of word choice. Hell, if you converse on a regular basis you know how some words have more impact than others.

But, I sometimes forget this.

Today, I had a bit of a spazz moment. See, Monkey's feet were supposed to get trimmed... well, sometime this last week. Stuff happened, and it didn't get done, so I poked at the guys doing the trimming until they agreed to do it today.

'Cept I got to the barn and it wasn't done. So I was a little pissy, and started looking for someone else to do it.

Then after class, the guys showed up... turns out, they'd come and started on him, and he was being a brat. So, rather than drug him, they had me hold him. He was still touchy about his back feet, but he wasn't a complete spazz.

He's such a primadonna, as long as I kept finger combing his mane he was fine.

So anyway, to the unfortunate moment. We took a break so that S could treat Diablo's leg and wrap it (plastic bags involved, which Monkeydoodle does not like) and I was talking to the kid about how bad Monkey's feet had gotten, and why I'd been bugging the crap out of him about it.

"So yeah, there was a reason I was bugging you, it wasn't just 'do me now, now now'..."

*silence*

"Ok that was an unfortunate choice of words... "

Of course, I don't think I freaked him out too bad because later on while he was trimming Monkey's back feet he said "If he kicks me, you owe me dinner."

"Ok, I can do that, if he kicks you. I'd feel bad anyway."

"Me and A."

"What?? A isn't anywhere near him, he's not gonna get kicked!"

"Burger King."

"You have the worst taste in the world.... but ok, Burger King I can do."

'Course, Monkey didn't kick him, he only really tried once, and he got simultaneous smacks from me and the kid, so he decided he didn't want to do that anymore.

But his feet are trimmed. They're not entirely correct because there were chips out of two of them that changed the way he had to trim them, and I'll keep an eye on him in the pasture to make sure he's wearing right, and if they're uneven in a few weeks I'll have him done again.

But I don't know if I'll ever live down that one unfortunate comment.....

Wha?

Apparently, I am a freaking genius.

No, really. It's either that or the people in my repro class are complete frigging idiots. I'm trying to be charitable.

Our whole class today was review for the final, which Marilyn being Marilyn, she forced us to do ourselves. Everyone had to have ten questions to ask people in the class, about materials we covered. If the person you first asked couldn't answer it, then you asked someone else. And then someone else, etc etc.

Except that somehow it became less a "who knows the answer?" thing and more a "ask Farmgirl" thing.

There were some good questions, yes. I had to double check my answer on how long a fertilized ovum remains mobile in the uterus before attaching itself in one of the uterine horns. I wasn't entirely positive on what specific infection caused by retained placenta one of the students was looking for (well, she didn't say "other than......." along with the long list of uterine, urinary tract, and systemic infections that can be caused by a piece of placenta being retained and decomposing in the uterus, so I'm not really beating myself up over that one.)

But, seriously. My questions were easy. Anatomy. Things that we covered last week. Gimme a freaking break.

If you can't tell me that the seminal vesicles are the pathway for the sperm to travel between the testicles and the accessory sex glands, what are you going to do when your stud gets an infection that attacks the lymph nodes near the accessory sex glands and swelling shuts off said vesicles?? Look at the vet with your head cocked to the side and drooling?

And even if you don't want a stud, every horse owner will inevitably breed a mare at some point. It's nearly impossible to resist, especially if you have women or children around. Foals are cute!

What are you going to do if you've got a baby that's not absorbing the antibodies from the colostrum, or a mare that doesn't produce adequate antibodies, if you don't know that a plasma transfusion from the mare (actually a much simpler process than it sounds, trust me) will boost the foal's immunity? Let it die of rhinopneumonitis the first time it gets sneezed on?? Spend thousands of dollars in vet bills to keep it alive when it gets one of the many viruses that go after horses and the virus kicks it's little immuno-insufficient butt?

Gimme a freaking break, people.

I answered about twenty five percent of the questions, while reading an entirely different book, on decongestants that had me looking at the person next to me asking if the wall was blue or if I was seeing things. (The wall was blue, by the way. The projector was on.)

Honestly, am I all that smart or is everyone else just that big of an idiot?? I know that I have a talent for retaining and retrieving information, especially if I read it, and not everyone else does. I don't fault people because they don't remember facts and figures that I can. I just feel lucky that I can discard the things that aren't useful to me, for the most part, or store them in some part of the filing system in my brain that doesn't get opened unless it's needed.

I do fault people when they can't remember that a major benefit of artificial insemination is the reduction in the spread of equine venereal diseases. When it was mentioned constantly. Or that one genetic test can prevent reinforcing a bad recessive that causes a horse to be born with so little bonding tissue between skin and muscle that a light pet on the neck can peel hide, and I mean all of the hide down to muscle and bone, loose.

Or, you know, basic anatomy that you should know at least the bare bones of. Especially when it's the same stuff that's in you.

Gimme a break!

Alergies, Pills, And The Miracle That Is Neosporin

So, I know I haven't been giving quality posts lately. Many apologies, but every class I have is winding up to finals, trying to cram as much knowledge as possible into our brains, and I've been busy.

Monkey horse has also been acting a bit of an idiot lately, so I've been spending some extra time with him.

Not to mention the whole Mechanic Cowboy thing. Been finding time to spend there, here and there, and we've got an outing to the bar for dancing and adult beverages planned for Saturday night.

As for today, which is actually one of my slowest days... well. The tree outside my apartment window and about forty bazillion others are in full swing budding out, and about half of those forty bazillion are flowering trees. Pretty, but they wreak hell on my sinuses.

And since guaifenesin does precisely dick for me, I've been popping the psuedo ephedrine stuff, which has fun partying with the ibuprofin I'm still taking because, well, there's a big freaking hole in the roof of my mouth. On top of that I've been popping acidophilus to help heal the big hole in my mouth and all the smaller irritations. Don't laugh, I've taken it for years when I'd accidentally bite myself and wind up with a big ol' tender canker sore. It works.

Have I mentioned that I don't like pills? Because I don't. I've spent a lifetime avoiding taking pills where I could, but let me tell you, the crap that's going on in my mouth right now has me popping more pain pills than when I first got the teeth pulled. And add a daily dose of allergy medicine, and a couple of Sudafed throughout the day, and the acidophilus, and I'm popping a lot of pills.

*Grumble*

Oh, and have I ever mentioned what a miracle Neosporin + Pain is? I've always preferred it for cuts and scrapes because lets face it why have that sting when you don't have to? Well, to help along the healing process, and because it's a dentist approved method to help secure my teeth in my head, I've been using Neosporin. The kicker here is that since the geyser of blood erupted, I've been putting it on the area that contacts the roof of my mouth too... and I've been putting a little more in the gum area than strictly necessary, because as I talk, eat, drink, etc, it squishes up into the areas of irritation, over the top of the denture, and eases some of the ouchy.

Most of the ouchy is on that one spot in the roof of my mouth though... feels like the hole goes straight up into my sinuses and the back of my eyeball sometimes.

Meanwhile, I'm a little off in left field a lot of the time lately, for one reason or another at different times... so please bear with me for another week or two and then I should have some more brain power to put hands to keyboard and come up with something good for ya'll.

Especially since I'm thinking of going back to road work for the summer for the money. That'll give me time, and stories to tell.

Mystery Kitty

It appears that someone dumped a new cat at the barn. She's a real sweetie, will launch herself into a pet like its the best thing in the world... but we discovered her presence because she was stuck behind a stall wall.

Well, not stuck stuck, but she saw daylight through gaps and wanted out there instead of the end of the row of stalls. So we moved the horse, pulled the wall down, and pulled the cat out. Then put the wall back up and put the horse back.

Of course, before we started taking the wall down I had to reach through the gaps where some boards had been kicked loose and make sure she wasn't actually trapped, and that we weren't going to drop boards on her if we took the other ones out. But we got it done, and put back together.

Mystery Kitty is out, and eating and drinking... she's pretty skinny, but has a good healthy, shiny coat, so she hasn't been without food and water for very long. I think she's just naturally long and lanky, and missed a couple of meals, to get to where she's at now. She's also in heat. Thank goodness we got all the boys out there fixed.

We'll check on her tomorrow morning, and make sure she hasn't trapped herself again, but I think she felt a lot more secure after controlled introductions to the other cats. I wouldn't let them pick on her but as long as they were sniffing noses I left them alone.

It is interesting to note, however, that Smoke, one of the Pixel kittens that got me in so much trouble here at the apartment, is highly territorial. She really wanted to chase the rival female off, until "mommy" got stern with her.

By the time I left they were standing on either side of me, both getting petted, and completely ignoring each other.... they should be fine.