Saturday, September 26, 2015

"Other Duties as Assigned"

I've got a few little extra duties, but one of the more entertaining ones as a vampire dispatcher is the wake up calls.

If someone has an early morning, and thinks they might need help getting out of bed or just wants to be sure someone will bug them until they show evidence of being awake and coherent, they'll ask a dispatcher to give them a wake up call.

At least one of them plans an extra hour in "ten more minutes" into the routine. He took a nap in the deputy's quarters attached to the jail after a particularly shitty week when he really needed to be catching up on paperwork, but couldn't keep his eyes open. Which is fine, he deserved it, believe me.

But he asked to be woken up in an hour. So he was, and "ten more minutes, please." Okidokie.

Ten minutes later "ten more minutes please."

Half a dozen "Ten more minutes" and I told him the next time I had to go in there I was going to poke him with a stick. And then found a stick.

I need to figure out how to play music through the office phones so that I can blast him with something loud and obnoxious... it's not that I mind waking him up and I know he builds the time in for someone to basically annoy him into actual wakefulness... but every so often I feel like changing it up a bit.

And my midget phone sex worker voice just doesn't faze him, alas.

7 comments:

Old NFO said...

Air horn... Just sayin...

Farmist said...

Air horn, whistle, or a can of Silly String can be motivating, too.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad your writing again.

Gerry

Anonymous said...

Our PBX has a spot for a USB connection, AND a spot for a iPod/MP3 connector.
Then there's the PA system and a bluetooth speaker and a Yakety Sax file....

tweell said...

A boom box with AC/DC's Hell's Bells set to play usually works as a wakeup call. A cup of ice water works even better, but be set to run and have an escape route planned!

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