Saturday, December 3, 2011

Mamaw

In January, Mamaw was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. It had already gone to her brain. They found a tumor the size of a golf ball.

They surgically removed that one, and treated the others they could see with a focused radiation procedure. Then she started chemo.

She went through a full course of chemo, and it halted the stuff in her lungs. She had to have two more rounds of radiation for the stuff in her brain though.

She had anxiety attacks, thanks to the changing brain chemistry. She went through all the misery that goes with chemo, including losing her hair. She refused to wear a wig. She said "I have cancer. I don't have anything to be ashamed of, if people don't like it, they don't have to look!"

She fell in love with one of the pups when we had the baby schnauzers around. When he was potty trained, he came to live with her. He had such a dramatic effect on the anxiety that her oncologist proclaimed him a service dog. He cut her medication in half, for a long time.

She never gave up. Never. The doctors were all amazed, nothing was progressing as fast as it should have for this aggressive cancer. She just kept going.

Until tonight. Tonight she lost the fight. Her body just ran out of resources to fight with, and in the end, it was a mercy.

She will be missed, and loved, always and forever, but her fight is over now.

Rest In Peace, Mamaw. We love you.

54 comments:

RobertM said...

I'm so sorry.

DaddyBear said...

I'm so sorry to hear this FG. We'll be keeping y'all in our prayers.

Bill said...

Yes, we will be keeping you all in our prayers.

Joshua said...

*hugs very tight*

TXGunGeek said...

We am so very sorry to hear this. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. We are on the road at the moment attending my Moms Funeral ourselves. So, I have some appreciation of the emotions you are experiencing. Know that she has moved on to a better place and that it is all a part of life.

Pappy said...

My prayers are going up for the pain your is experiencing.

Peter said...

I'm sorry to hear this. I remember Mamaw at our Blogorado gathering, cackling gleefully at one of the stories we shared. She will be missed; but she lives on in her children, and grandchildren (yes, that means you!)

Be glad for the good times and the happy memories. They help to balance the sadness. Besides, think what she'd be saying to you if she saw you getting too sad!

Laura said...

i'm so, so sorry for your loss.

Brigid said...

I am so very sorry for your family. Please accept my sympathy for the loss of a life well lived.

Stephen said...

I'm so sorry. God Bless you.

Jay G said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. The FarmFam will be in my thoughts and prayers.

phlegmfatale said...

Mamaw was a very dignified and dear woman. She made baldness look downright cute. You and all of FarmFam are in my heart and my prayers at this time.

Rev. Paul said...

I'm so sorry to hear of this. Our prayers go out for you and your family.

MSgt B said...

Please accept my condolences.

Cancer is a mean b@5t@rd who never fights fair.

http://museshank.blogspot.com/2011/11/fuck-cancer.html

Groundhog said...

So sorry for your loss.

Jeffro said...

My condolences to your family.

maddmedic said...

Condolences.
Lost my younger sister in 2003 to the same damn thing..

Tango Juliet said...

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

I didn't know her but from what I've read, the world is now a poorer place with her passing.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

TD said...

I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

redneckmp said...

im sorry to hear this, you and the rest of the farmfam are in my thoughts and prayers

Anonymous said...

My condolences.

Ragdragger

Borepatch said...

I'm sorry for your loss, and any words of condolence will be small comfort. But it was the same with Dad - the end was a mercy.

The Sufis had a saying: When the Angel of Death approaches, it is terrible; when he reaches you it is bliss.

But I still think about him every day.

I hope that time dulls the ache.

JPG said...

While we were there in October, it was painful to see that sweet lady enduring her trials. It was terrible in any case, but my brother Jerry, four years my junior, was taken by a brain tumor in 2006.
Deepest sympathy to the the entire family.
Johnny and Holly

Phssthpok said...

I'm right there with you farm-fam. MommaPak passed from much the same thing (colon>spinal>brain) not six days ago, and I have to second your sentiments regarding Hospice folks.

On a Wing and a Whim said...

I'm so sorry, FG. You all have our deepest sympathies, and we'll keep you in our prayers.

Though she's gained all the riches of eternity, the world is a poorer place for losing her.

George said...

God bless you all. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Hat Trick said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

jetfxr69 said...

I'm sorry. She is mourned by so many people I read and respect that I really would have liked to meet her as well. And I'm sad I won't have the chance.

JD said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. I will be keeping you in my prayres. I lost my Dad almost six years ago to lung cancer. It is a long and ugly fight. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing the pain is over for her and she is in a much better place watching over you all until you meet again.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. Praying for your comfort.

Old NFO said...

Know she's gone home... And she will NOT be forgotten. She's left a hellva legacy in y'all, and I was proud to know her. Thoughts and prayers for her and y'all...

Chris said...

So sorry to hear of your loss - I've enjoyed reading your tales and those of your redoubtable friends for several years now, and relished every mention of this wonderful lady. You'll all be in our prayers...

Matt G said...

Look at what she wrought, hosted, and loved.

Not bad, Mammaw.

I hope as many love me to my final act as love her to hers.

stopsign said...

Sorry for your loss. Prayers sent for your family.

TheMinuteman said...

I'm so sorry farm girl. Sorry because I never got the chance to meet someone who from all the comments I've seen so far was a wonderful person that the world will miss.

I'm also sorry because I saw first hand that same type of fight and he ran quite literally to the end as hard as he could.

Here's a hug from the wife and I. You and your family are in our hearts and prayers.

Scott McCray said...

My deepest condolences.

TOTWTYTR said...

My deepest condolences on the loss of your Mother.

I'll leave you with words of comfort from the Jewish funeral service,

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
We remember them.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter
We remember them.
In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember them.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,
We remember them.
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember them.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.
So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are now a part of us,
As we remember them.

homebru said...

I am very sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I only met Mawmaw through your blog, but she sounds like a wonderful person who raised a wonderful family. Y'all are in my prayers.

LittleRed1

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You and yours and in my prayers. My life is better for having gotten to meet her. She earned her crown and her rest.
love to you all.

Evyl Robot Michael said...

OSo sorry, FG! Big hugs to you and your folks.

instinct said...

I am so sorry for your loss. She's sounds like she was an incredible woman and reminds me of my own mom.

Hugs and prayers.

fuzzys dad said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss.
May God comfort and keep you

North said...

Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still.

William Penn, 1693

Dirk said...

Never met any of the Farm Fam, but so many people have said so many nice things, I almost felt like I knew them. My deepest condolences on your loss.

Randy said...

Sounds like you and your family lost a fine lady. Sorry to hear it.

Tam said...

Oh, no!

I'm so sorry, y'all. :(

Mike W. said...

I'm sorry for your loss, FG.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your family's loss. We send our condolences.

Larry & Sandy Ashcraft

freddyboomboom said...

My condolences for your loss.

Mark said...

My Prayers for your family, and condolences for the loss of a vital loving woman.

SewerDweller said...

My condolences for your loss, FG. She was a neat lady, from what I knew of her. I hope the rest of your family is doing well.

Regard,

Urso.

Montieth said...

My deepest sympathies FG.