Wednesday, June 27, 2007

"Enhancements"

Ok, anyone who feels the need can blame this one on Ambulance Driver.

What in the world is with all of the "enhancement products" out there?!?

I mean, I can see it for those among us who have a physical inability to be intimate with their spouse. Thats a legitimate thing, and I have no problem with that.

But whyinhell would a 24 year old guy take Viagra???

You're not incapable. There is nothing wrong with the way things function, especially if I listen to your little "not-girlfriend".

So why? I mean seriously, when I found out about it, from you no less, I really did hope you'd wind up with some of that permanent wood they're always warning about, and have to face down the doctors' laughter.

Apparently, this is a trend.

Of course, with every other email in *my* inbox being spam about "satisfie her bettr" and "add 1nches!" I shouldn't be surprised.

What is with the male obsession with their reproductive parts? I haven't yet run across a conversation in public where a group of women were sitting around discussing who had the better vagina. And yet, I have overheard guys in public places discussing not only who's was bigger but how they "rocked her world" last night.

Bubbah, if you're walking straight and talking coherently, you may have given her a lot of fun, but you certainly didn't "rock" her "world."

And the commercials... ugh. Whoever thought up 'ol Bob needs to get some new and better drugs because whatever he's on is giving him a bad trip.

Testosterone Poisoning EVERYWHERE!!!

8 comments:

Ambulance Driver said...

Have you ever noticed that cell phones are the only thing men DON'T brag about having the biggest of?

What all guys secretly want is for the women they're with to exclaim, on seeing their equipment, "Holy shit!!! Watch where you point that thing!!!"

It is rather demoralizing for a man to drop his pants and have his partner point and say, "Awwww, how CUTE!"

Or, that's what I hear, at least. I wouldn't know. ;)

Dan O. said...

I always laugh at the "if erection lasts more than 4 hours see a doctor" warning. Hell, if it lasted that long, I'm gonna "rock" somebody's "world" first. The Doc can wait. :)

Ambulance Driver said...

Erections in Japan last all day. At least, until they close the polls and tabulate the votes.

farmgirl said...

AD: Dude, I'm a little girl, I have spoken those words before... and meant them.

As for cell phones... I want to be able to FIND it when it rings!

And by the way... bad pun, BAD PUN!

Anonymous said...

I'm a guy and I wish Bob would permanently disappear from the tv screen. Him and whoever keeps up that damn whistlin'. I don't know what they're smoking but I think they need to come down off it and see themselves. Maybe they'd be embarrassed into not continuing that ad campaign.

mustanger98
reader on LawDog's blog
poster on THR and Rifle-Company.com

DW said...

AD needs to talk to an undertaker, they will get rid of all the myths. The girls tell me they would rather be tickled than stabbed. The guys just want one girl that feels like she has been stabbed. And which words were those, "how cute" or "watch where you point that"?

One of my friends got some free samples in the mail, he's not a youg man, or a careful thinker, thought it was funny, took them all at once, left his wife completely dazed and amazed, thats a story I may have to blog.

Anonymous said...

Do ya'll notice how many of the narators give the disclaimers about not using those products if a consumer has a heart condition and/or any of several other problems?

mustanger98

farmgirl said...

The words were "Watch where you point that thing" or "You want to put that WHERE??"