With three funerals here, one right after another, I've been thinking a lot about people I've lost.
Luckily, it's mostly been memories that make me smile. There comes a point in the grief process where you still miss them, but you'd rather giggle than sniffle.
For instance... my great grandmother and her card playing buddies. Imagine, if you will, a bunch of very upstanding little old church ladies, ladies who quilt all year in order to donate to the church bazaar, make jellies and jams and baked goods to take to the nursing home and sick people... all sitting around a table and playing a game called Go Shit On Your Neighbor.
The best I can do to explain it is that it seemed to me that Old Maid and Bullshit got together and had a child, and so did Go Fish and Rummy, and Go Shit On Your Neighbor was the bastard offspring of an ill-advised drunken night between those two unknown games.
I don't think anyone but them ever knew all the rules, and I don't think that the rules were all that consistent, anyway. From what I saw of the game (I never managed to learn it even though I did sit in on a few games... mostly I just looked bewildered and threw cards out at random) it seemed to involve at least five decks of cards, vociferous trash-talking, and a lot of laughter. Also, quite a bit of cussing by people who wouldn't normally say shit with a mouthful.
They would play this game until three or four in the morning, and then get up the next day and go back to being upright little old ladies.
Believe me, when I was nine or ten and Sugar invited me to play cards with her and her friends, I never imagined that I would be walking into that. I went the first time because it made her happy, and a happy Sugar meant plenty of yummy stuff like cookies and pies and breads and taffy. She had the best recipes.
I've nearly convinced myself to make cactus jelly this year... We're getting close to being out of hers, and I feel like the tradition should continue. The only problem is, I am not the beloved matriarch of the family, so I can't just tell everyone that it's time to make cactus jelly and conscript them to help me pick a ton of cactus apples, which is just the beginning of the process. Nor do I have people dropping off clean, empty jars by the boxful, like everyone who had tasted her cactus jelly did for her, in hopes that she would thank them with their very own jar. She usually did.
If I do decide to make it, I'll just have to hope that I can come out with something close to the wondrous stuff she produced.
We're talking award winning jelly here folks. At one church bazaar a man paid two hundred dollars for a baby food jar of it. And, as generous as she was with everything else, including her recipes, she never shared that one with anyone but family, that I know of.
I've also been thinking quite a bit about Grandpa and his shirts.
He always wore long sleeved shirts with snaps. Most of them were plaid, too, but he had some solid ones. The only time I ever saw him not wearing a long sleeved shirt (including his deathbed, actually, where he wore pajamas with long sleeves) was when we were out in the boat on the lake, and he was actually skiing or sledding. He'd climb out of the water and back into his shirt immediately... his swimming trunks were, quite possibly, older than me, but he didn't worry too much about putting his pants back on until we got off the boat.
For the last... oh, four or five years of his life, you could be sure that at every Christmas or birthday, someone in the family would have gotten him shirts. He wouldn't buy himself new shirts, you see. So everyone else bought them for him. He'd act enthusiastic and thank whoever got them and take them home.
I never really thought about it till recently, but I can't remember more than a handful of times that I saw him wear any of his new shirts.
And even though when he died I took a whole pile of them that were never even unfolded and washed, and I wear them often, it was only today that I realized why he never wore them.
Well, actually, in a few cases it's quite simple. Either they lacked snaps (he didn't like button down shirts that actually had buttons... he preferred snaps) or they would have been, in his opinion, butt-ugly. I'm actually wearing one of the latter right now, and while I feel that I cut a dashing figure in it, he would have found the red, blue, yellow, and navy plaid to be entirely too, well, butt-ugly.
Yes, I do realize how ugly it sounds, and when I took it I figured it would be a work shirt, to be gotten stained and oily... and then I looked at myself in it and somehow it works.
Anyway, back to the point, even those shirts that would have seemed to fit his taste, he didn't wear. He liked his old shirts, quite likely for the same reason that I have a pair of pants that I have to patch the seat of (from seam to seam, just under both back pockets) with duct tape before I can wear them out in public. I love those pants. Those pants and I have been through a lot, and to discard them now just because they're a little thin and my ass hangs out of them would feel a bit like a betrayal. Besides, they're comfy.
I think Grandpa was the same about his shirts. He loved them, they were comfortable, and they suited him just fine.
And we all just kept buying him new ones.
I think, if he's out there somewhere looking down on me now, he's probably laughing that it took me this long to figure it out... and laughing even harder that I'm kind of wishing that I'd taken more of the superfluous shirts when he died.
Because even though he never wore them, they were his, and wearing them made me think of him and smile.
And now, I think that they'll make me smile and chuckle, and try to take yet another lesson from him. The lesson that you don't always have to tell people no to get your own way. Sometimes it's enough to smile and say thank you and just continue doing things the way you intended to all along, because chances are, they'll never really notice it anyway.
Thanks, Grandpa.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
HSUS- You Suck, and We Hate You
The Humane Society of the United States is back at their begging, running commercials with their president speaking oh-so-sincerely about how horrible the animals in the country have it and asking for money. With a hitch in his voice.
Kudos for his acting, actually.
No Kudos for his organization. If you're seeing these commercials and are tempted by the admittedly haunting images to send the organization money, DON'T.
HSUS collects a ton of money, yes. They own shelters, yes.
Here's the important bit though- 75% of donations go to paying salaries within the organization, and those shelters kill most of the animals that walk through their doors, to make room for "more adoptable" animals.
So ignore the over-the-top images (they dug up footage of someone CLUBBING A SEAL!) and the soft-voiced pleading from the president of the organization.
If you want to help unfortunate furry friends, consider the ASPCA, because at least they actually make the attempt to rehabilitate the animals. Granted, some dogs are euthanized when they show behavioral problems such as food aggression or animal aggression, but an effort is made to modify that behavior before the dog is given up on.
Not a fan of the ASPCA? Do some research and find a horse rescue near you. Then do some research on that facility and the people who run it. A little more work in this one as there is no country-wide organization to throw money at, yes, but these days good horse rescues are overwhelmed.
Since the ban of horse slaughter in the country more horses than ever are being neglected, starved, turned loose to fend for themselves, or abused. That's not artfully phrased begging, just the facts.
But please, if you do decide to donate to a horse rescue, do your research.
Because there are those out there who pretend to be a rescue, rather than actually being one. I know one place personally that claims to be a horse rescue but refuses to take any horse that cannot be "re-purposed." Then they charge a decent adoption fee, and the people who own it live quite well.
This is not the sort of place that needs your donations.
So talk to the boss at any place that you're thinking of donating to. Ask questions: What sort of horses do you take? What kind of rehabilitation do you do? What will my money go towards? Can I purchase and donate vet supplies instead? What vet supplies would you suggest I donate?
If they refuse donation of vet supplies, ask them why. If the answer is anything other than "We're very picky about what we use" or "we have an arrangement with a veterinarian" they're probably either not accepting horses that need extra care or they're not GIVING the extra care... also, if they say yes but only ask for wormers and vaccinations, find out WHY they don't accept donations of supplies like antibiotics or anti-inflammatories.
Ask them if there are any other items that you could donate in lieu of money. Places that refuse donations of blankets or leg wraps for any reason other than "we have too many" are a little suspect, to me. If they're spending the money on the care of the animals they should be perfectly happy to receive the items to care for the animals as well.
These points (with minor alterations depending on what kind of animal) can be applied to any animal rescue organization.
And HSUS doesn't even come close.
Kudos for his acting, actually.
No Kudos for his organization. If you're seeing these commercials and are tempted by the admittedly haunting images to send the organization money, DON'T.
HSUS collects a ton of money, yes. They own shelters, yes.
Here's the important bit though- 75% of donations go to paying salaries within the organization, and those shelters kill most of the animals that walk through their doors, to make room for "more adoptable" animals.
So ignore the over-the-top images (they dug up footage of someone CLUBBING A SEAL!) and the soft-voiced pleading from the president of the organization.
If you want to help unfortunate furry friends, consider the ASPCA, because at least they actually make the attempt to rehabilitate the animals. Granted, some dogs are euthanized when they show behavioral problems such as food aggression or animal aggression, but an effort is made to modify that behavior before the dog is given up on.
Not a fan of the ASPCA? Do some research and find a horse rescue near you. Then do some research on that facility and the people who run it. A little more work in this one as there is no country-wide organization to throw money at, yes, but these days good horse rescues are overwhelmed.
Since the ban of horse slaughter in the country more horses than ever are being neglected, starved, turned loose to fend for themselves, or abused. That's not artfully phrased begging, just the facts.
But please, if you do decide to donate to a horse rescue, do your research.
Because there are those out there who pretend to be a rescue, rather than actually being one. I know one place personally that claims to be a horse rescue but refuses to take any horse that cannot be "re-purposed." Then they charge a decent adoption fee, and the people who own it live quite well.
This is not the sort of place that needs your donations.
So talk to the boss at any place that you're thinking of donating to. Ask questions: What sort of horses do you take? What kind of rehabilitation do you do? What will my money go towards? Can I purchase and donate vet supplies instead? What vet supplies would you suggest I donate?
If they refuse donation of vet supplies, ask them why. If the answer is anything other than "We're very picky about what we use" or "we have an arrangement with a veterinarian" they're probably either not accepting horses that need extra care or they're not GIVING the extra care... also, if they say yes but only ask for wormers and vaccinations, find out WHY they don't accept donations of supplies like antibiotics or anti-inflammatories.
Ask them if there are any other items that you could donate in lieu of money. Places that refuse donations of blankets or leg wraps for any reason other than "we have too many" are a little suspect, to me. If they're spending the money on the care of the animals they should be perfectly happy to receive the items to care for the animals as well.
These points (with minor alterations depending on what kind of animal) can be applied to any animal rescue organization.
And HSUS doesn't even come close.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Away From The Blog..
For a funeral, since I'm in a bit of a funk.
In place of actual content, have a couple of links:
First: the first link that came up on Google about a coyote in a New York City parking garage a few days ago.
Second: take a serious warning from this tragic accident, and don't let this happen in your home.
In place of actual content, have a couple of links:
First: the first link that came up on Google about a coyote in a New York City parking garage a few days ago.
Second: take a serious warning from this tragic accident, and don't let this happen in your home.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Breed All About It: Rocky Mountain Horse
Today we're going to take a look at another uniquely American breed of horse, the Rocky Mountain Horse.
Much like the Quarter Horse these sturdy equines were bred to be multi-use, versatile beasts with the ability to work every day. Unlike Quarter Horses, they weren't intended for the races. Rather they were bred to be an all-around versatile beast of burden, sure footed and easy to ride.
The Rocky Mountain Horse is a gaited horse... meaning that it has a natural way of propelling itself across the landscape that fits a particular rhythm and is, reportedly, quite comfortable to ride for long periods. This gait is- regardless of what breed of gaited horse we're talking about, and there are several- faster than a walk, more comfortable than a trot, but not as fast as a lope, or canter, if you prefer. The Rocky Mountain Horse is required to have a four-beat gait, meaning that, like at the walk, each hoof strikes the ground individually, rather than any two legs striding at the same time, as with the lope, which is a three beat gait. This gait is natural, present from birth, and cannot be taught. Each horse has its own "way of going," meaning that no two horses will have precisely the same gait or speed. Rocky Mountain Horses have been known to gait at up to twenty miles an hour.
In the late 1800's a stallion emerged into the limelight of the Kentucky horse world, which at that time was far more practical and far less race-focused than it is today. This horse came out of the Rocky Mountains, and was called "The Rocky Mountain Horse."
Other than his unusual coloring, and the fact that he was bred to a geographically small sampling of gaited riding horses in Kentucky, that's pretty much all that's known about the stud who gave rise to a handy little breed.
I mention the stud's coloring, because the rather startling colorations available in the breed today are one of it's most recognizable features. Since we're talking looks, I'll show you some pictures. (It has nothing to do with the fact that I think Rocky Mountain Horses have some of the neatest coat colorings in the horse world. Not at all. So hush.)
Above is a particularly striking example of the dark body/flaxen mane coloration that is such an amazing first impression of the breed. More common is the chocolate/flaxen combination:
More pairings of bold body colors with flaxen mane and tail are apparent in the breed, although by no means are they all so strikingly colored. A Rocky Mountain Horse can be any solid body color, according to breed standards, and facial markings are acceptable if not "excessive." No white markings are allowed above the knee or the hock, however.
The color combinations seen above are examples of a particular expression of the same gene that makes a horse dapple gray. In some horses (as a breed, notably, Lipizanners, but the gene and this expression of it are apparent in many different breeds) the gene can cause them to fade from a more standard coat color, gradually over a lifetime, to a washed out dappled shade of their original color. In others, it simply creates a ghost of dappling in the coat, and still others are born dapple gray.
Other standards for the breed include height, (between 14.2 and 16 hands*) and notably, a good temperament. Very few breed standards include temperament, considering that to be an area in which bloodlines can be allowed to differ.
Since the Rocky Mountain Horse was a very utilitarian breed, its numbers plummeted with the advent of better roads, automobiles, and tractors. At one point it was listed as an Endangered Species.
Today, though, the Rocky Mountain Horse Association is dedicated to preserving and propagating the sturdy little beasts. While they're not anywhere near as common as Quarter Horses or Thoroughbreds, they're making an impact in the world of the pleasure horse, as sure-footed trail horses and gaited show ponies.
* 1 hand = 4in. This measurement was originally, much like the cubit, more haphazard, being the breadth of a man's hand.
** Second image ganked shamelessly from Hidden Trails.com
Much like the Quarter Horse these sturdy equines were bred to be multi-use, versatile beasts with the ability to work every day. Unlike Quarter Horses, they weren't intended for the races. Rather they were bred to be an all-around versatile beast of burden, sure footed and easy to ride.
The Rocky Mountain Horse is a gaited horse... meaning that it has a natural way of propelling itself across the landscape that fits a particular rhythm and is, reportedly, quite comfortable to ride for long periods. This gait is- regardless of what breed of gaited horse we're talking about, and there are several- faster than a walk, more comfortable than a trot, but not as fast as a lope, or canter, if you prefer. The Rocky Mountain Horse is required to have a four-beat gait, meaning that, like at the walk, each hoof strikes the ground individually, rather than any two legs striding at the same time, as with the lope, which is a three beat gait. This gait is natural, present from birth, and cannot be taught. Each horse has its own "way of going," meaning that no two horses will have precisely the same gait or speed. Rocky Mountain Horses have been known to gait at up to twenty miles an hour.
In the late 1800's a stallion emerged into the limelight of the Kentucky horse world, which at that time was far more practical and far less race-focused than it is today. This horse came out of the Rocky Mountains, and was called "The Rocky Mountain Horse."
Other than his unusual coloring, and the fact that he was bred to a geographically small sampling of gaited riding horses in Kentucky, that's pretty much all that's known about the stud who gave rise to a handy little breed.
I mention the stud's coloring, because the rather startling colorations available in the breed today are one of it's most recognizable features. Since we're talking looks, I'll show you some pictures. (It has nothing to do with the fact that I think Rocky Mountain Horses have some of the neatest coat colorings in the horse world. Not at all. So hush.)
Above is a particularly striking example of the dark body/flaxen mane coloration that is such an amazing first impression of the breed. More common is the chocolate/flaxen combination:
More pairings of bold body colors with flaxen mane and tail are apparent in the breed, although by no means are they all so strikingly colored. A Rocky Mountain Horse can be any solid body color, according to breed standards, and facial markings are acceptable if not "excessive." No white markings are allowed above the knee or the hock, however.
The color combinations seen above are examples of a particular expression of the same gene that makes a horse dapple gray. In some horses (as a breed, notably, Lipizanners, but the gene and this expression of it are apparent in many different breeds) the gene can cause them to fade from a more standard coat color, gradually over a lifetime, to a washed out dappled shade of their original color. In others, it simply creates a ghost of dappling in the coat, and still others are born dapple gray.
Other standards for the breed include height, (between 14.2 and 16 hands*) and notably, a good temperament. Very few breed standards include temperament, considering that to be an area in which bloodlines can be allowed to differ.
Since the Rocky Mountain Horse was a very utilitarian breed, its numbers plummeted with the advent of better roads, automobiles, and tractors. At one point it was listed as an Endangered Species.
Today, though, the Rocky Mountain Horse Association is dedicated to preserving and propagating the sturdy little beasts. While they're not anywhere near as common as Quarter Horses or Thoroughbreds, they're making an impact in the world of the pleasure horse, as sure-footed trail horses and gaited show ponies.
* 1 hand = 4in. This measurement was originally, much like the cubit, more haphazard, being the breadth of a man's hand.
** Second image ganked shamelessly from Hidden Trails.com
Monday, March 22, 2010
Light Blogging
As something that calls itself real life interferes.
The next Breed All About It is written and ready to go up so I'll set it to publish tomorrow morning.
*For those of you using a feed or a reader to get the posts... Sorry. User Error in changing the date on the post. It'll go up again tomorrow.
The next Breed All About It is written and ready to go up so I'll set it to publish tomorrow morning.
*For those of you using a feed or a reader to get the posts... Sorry. User Error in changing the date on the post. It'll go up again tomorrow.
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Census
With all of the blathering about the census, federal funds, and the "omg fill it out or the government will have to spend money sending someone to your house to get the info" hysteria, it frankly amuses the hell out of me as I am out and about to see plastic bags plastered with "Census 2010" in red swinging in the breeze on doorknobs and fences in the country.
At houses that are boarded up, overgrown with weeds.
It's tempting, oh so tempting, to take one of those bags, fill it out saying that three ghosts live there, and send it in.
Incorporeal Americans? Bodily Challenged?
Ectoplasmically Talented?
What do you think?
At houses that are boarded up, overgrown with weeds.
It's tempting, oh so tempting, to take one of those bags, fill it out saying that three ghosts live there, and send it in.
Incorporeal Americans? Bodily Challenged?
Ectoplasmically Talented?
What do you think?
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