Letters

Twice a week I write a letter to a complete stranger. I fold it carefully, stuff it in an envelope, and send it off to the other side of the world... and I may never hear from that person again.

They don't know anything about me and all I know about them is their name and address, which makes it very difficult to write a letter.

It's harder than I expected, not that I've ever been the world's best pen pal to start with. The art of the letter has fallen by the wayside in today's age of email and internet access. Snail mail is all but extinct for anything other than physical packages.

I think it's kind of sad, personally. Sure, I struggle with what to say in a letter, and it's really easy to fall into a form letter mode when you're writing to people you don't know, but I think there's a personal touch with physical mail that email just doesn't have.

It takes a few moments to sit down and bang out an email, and send it off, but a letter... someone thought ahead, brought out pen and paper, moderated their usual scribble to something that someone else will be able to read. I think that puts something of the person into their correspondence.

I don't write letters to my friends, even those who are far away. There are people I hold quite dear that I don't even know their mailing address. And I realize, now, that that's quite a shame.

The written word is a wonderful thing, in all it's forms. I think a handwritten letter is something special, though. A good friend's handwriting should be as familiar as their face, and as welcome to see.

So, readers, I'm giving you a mission. Go write a letter. To your mom, your grandmother, your best friend or your brother, or even to that one guy you had a crush on in college if you have his address. It doesn't matter. Just write a letter, let them know you're thinking of them and took the time to sit down with pen and paper and write it out.

They'll smile when they read it, and that's worth it.

An Excellent Blog....

... That I've waffled on whether or not to link. But to hell with it, I love it and she's brilliant and I'll give a warning for those who may not wish to be confronted with these sorts of things.

What sorts of things, you ask? Why, sex, of course.

Quizzical Pussy is a delightfully straightforward blog addressing one of the four hundred pound gorillas in the room of society: sexuality.

The author approaches such things with a wonderfully open mind asking what may be the only important question in such things: Is it fun?

The things that she enjoys are not necessarily the things that I enjoy, but she's an excellent writer and even while I'm wondering why in the world, the writing (ok, and my never-ending curiosity paired with the fact that she usually does explain exactly why in the world...) carries me through the post.

It's very explicit, so if you're easily shocked, you may want to skip it.

If not, go, learn, enjoy. I love this blog and I adore the blogger... And on some points, frankly, I envy her.

She's got a place now on the never-updated blogroll, (with, of course, an explicit warning, so that I don't get nasty emails about surprising people with pictures of sex toys...) which should tell you how much I like the blog.

V-Day PSA

Just a friendly reminder for my male readers to go ahead and set up their Valentine's Day surprises now.

That way you don't forget and everyone is happy in the end!

For those of you stretching for ideas:

FTD has some lovely arrangements that can be delivered via a local florist.

Alethea's has fantastic hand made chocolates, and you can make a custom box of chocolates for your favorite chocolate lover. The black forest cheesecake truffles are definitely to die for!

You can always go for a pamper-me bath setup by selecting luxurious items in delectable scents from Bath and Body Works.

For the gunny girl in your life, a couple of boxes of ammo and a trip to the range, or a new scope or range bag is always a safe bet.

Feel free to comment with more suggestions!


**Obligatory FTC disclaimer: None of these companies give me stuff, although if Alethea's wants to offer me free chocolates, I'm not going to argue....

Memorials

In the midst of paradise sits an area that still bears the scars of an attack that happened sixty nine years ago.

If you know where to look or are lucky enough to have a good guide (and I'm not talking about the kind of guide that wears a parks uniform) you can still see bomb craters, and bullet holes.

But that's not what this is about. This is about these men:


Men who lost their lives while serving their country, and all of those throughout the ages who didn't get an elegant memorial with their names engraved in marble. The soldiers of our country who fight and die even today to protect our way of life. Whether you agree with the orders or not, they follow them. They hold their heads high and rightfully so.


There's an eerie sense, approaching the memorial. Not as if the ghosts of sailors still hang around, but more as if the reverence of everyone who has gone before you has left a residue. The white shape against the blue water is a stark image, with our flag flying above the fallen.


The entrance feels like you're walking into an ancient temple. A place where the gods and the spirits of the dead just might communicate with those of us here on earth.

I won't post pictures looking down into the water. It's something that should be seen in person. The slick of leaked oil throwing rainbow colors across the surface of the water, appropriately called Tears of The Arizona. The fish gliding above the deteriorating, encrusted metal. For me, there's a sense of sorrow, grief for men I never knew.

Mom's great-uncle was one of the men lost on the Arizona. He lies somewhere beneath the surface, along with the shipmates he died with, and a few who, having survived the attack, chose later to be interred with their brothers.

Everyone knows the Arizona is still there. Not as many realize that the USS Utah still sits just off Ford Island. Unlike the Arizona, the Utah was rolled to one side of the channel, to allow her sister ships to come and go.


Her memorial may not be as famous, nor as well-traveled, but it is no less important. If you get the chance, visit her, and pay your respects. Utah's memorial is less overrun, more peaceful. It holds the same sense of reverence, however, and perhaps a touch more melancholy.

I'm grateful that I have had the chance to visit these places. I hope my nephews do, as well as any children I might have. It's a place to give honor and acknowledge sacrifice, for the men who died there, who rest there, and for the men and woman who fell elsewhere, at other times.

Throughout the history of our country brave men and women have fought and died for the things they believed in. For those of us at home, so that we may not have to face the things that they do.

Never forget that. Never forget them, or forsake those who are facing the possibility of joining their ranks even today.

Aloha

From Colorado. Yep, we're home. We got home a few days ago but it's been a rush of catching up and I didn't have pictures to share with ya'll so I figured I'd wait till I got them to post. So now, here it is, a short picture tour of Hawaii, Farm Fam Style.



This was the view off our balcony (or lanai) at the hotel, the very night we got there. After five hours of delays in Denver and an eight hour flight, it was the most beautiful thing in the world to us, even though it was dark. Especially considering we weren't wearing coats. In January. At night. Oh Gawd why did I come home?

Another nifty perk of our room was the it was directly above the waterfalls on display at the front of the hotel, so when we'd get back to the room of an evening we'd sit on the balcony and listen to the waterfalls and stare out over the city for a while. So very relaxing....

On Thursday we went to the Sea Life Park, which is cheesy and touristy and quite a lot like a cut-rate Sea World except without the whales. But, we were tourists and they do some nifty dolphin and sea lion shows and there's plenty to see, so we went.

First up was the Ray Ballet:

Considering what happened to Mr. Irwin I think this chick is both brave and smart. She climbed into a tank with huge stingrays, but she brought bribes. I figure it's kind of like working with the mob when they're running a protection game. Pay em off, and you don't get hurt.


The rays of various types were quite cooperative when it came to showing off for the audience, and it was beautiful to watch them glide around.

Then, the sea turtles, right at the exit from the ray tank. This is what happens when you throw all the food in one area during feeding time. It's a slow motion feeding frenzy, a turtle pileup:


Since they sell turtle food (lettuce and broccoli) in the gift shop, the turtles are quite willing to wander over to anyone in the vicinity of their tank when they're not getting their big meal, and pose for pictures in the hopes of getting snacks.


Of course, no sea park is complete without sea lions, and in addition to the Miss Sea Lion Hawaii show in which they showed off their tricks they had an area where the sea lions just kind of hung out. It's not hard to guess why this guy wasn't involved in the choreographed show, since every time someone would walk by he'd make his opinion of tourists well known:

They also have a quite unusual animal at the Sea Life Park. I didn't know it was possible, but apparently dolphins and whales can cross breed. This one is the result of an accidental breeding, born right there in the park. She's called a whalfin and she was the star of the show:


A lot of the rest of the trip was sightseeing and enjoying the views. I have a ton of pictures, but to keep this short I'm breaking part of it off into another post and giving you one of my favorite vistas:


Also, the (in)famous Waimea Bay, which is reportedly normally a surfer's paradise, but which was flat as the Colorado plains the day we visited:


On our last day, we checked out of the hotel, checked our luggage, and got some more quality beach and park time in. I was pouting about having to leave this beautiful place, and one of the local birds came to console me. Or see if I would break the rules of almost everywhere in Hawaii and feed it. One of the two.

Personality Quirks

Rebel is a great horse. I trust him with my nephews, with people who haven't ridden before, and (aside from that whole gate incident with Stingray) he's never let me down.

This last week I discovered a personality quirk, though. It seems that while Rebel is ok with leaving the other horses, he's not ok with being left. This was exacerbated by the fact that we'd turned them out on a farm field just chock full of fallen grain the day before, and the horses and cows had gotten out. I tracked down the horses (a mile away, yeesh) and got Rebel caught and saddled with no problems.

The issues started showing up when I got on. I got behind the other horses and encouraged them to start moving back towards home. They, of course, were feeling frisky and trotted off a little ways.

No biggie, I'll just ease up behind them and... what the hell??

Rebel went neurotic. Sidestepping and tossing his head and generally making it very clear that he is not happy with this situation. So, I got off and grabbed my spurs. He wasn't wanting to listen, so I needed the extra encouragement.

Once we caught up to the other horses, he was fine, and he was fine with leaving them, he just doesn't want to get left.

It wouldn't have been such a problem with Rebel, I'm sure, if he didn't have so much excess energy from munching on fallen grain all night, but since he did, there came a point where he became flat out dangerous about it.

I had to find a good place, both physically and metaphorically, and get off and walk.

There are a lot of personality quirks out there like this. And, it's not that uncommon for a horse to not like to be left behind by his buddies. More common is not wanting to leave his buddies at all. This behavior is commonly known as "buddy sour" or "barn sour."

It is a fixable behavior, it just takes work. For a buddy sour horse you have to consistently make them work while they're near their "buddies." This can be either a particular friend, or just any other horse, depending on your horse's personality and what they've gotten away with in the past.

You need help for this, since you need a buddy, so recruit a friend. If your horse is buddied up to a particular horse, try to use that horse. If the buddy is also sour, you may want to work one at a time, with a calmer horse that will be able to stand still while you're working the other horses near them.

If your horse only has this behavior under particular circumstances, you need to re-create those circumstances. If he's buddy sour on the trails, you need to train on the trails, if it's the arena, train in the arena, etc. If he's just buddy sour in general, you can train wherever you're comfortable.

First, have some fun. Warm up, trot around together, do some figure eights and serpentines and just make sure your horse is paying attention. Do this in tandem, if necessary, because working while another horse is near by is just fine, it's a behavior you want to encourage. When you're all warmed up, have the other horse stop, and keep your horse going. If you get ten feet or so between them before your horse starts to rebel, stop your horse and make him stand, away from the other horse.

Then go back to the other horse, but don't stop this time. Trot your horse in small circles near by, or around the standing helper horse, if you can do so safely. Let's not get horses kicked, folks, that's never any fun. If you're trotting around the other horse and he's displaying signs of agitation, move to trotting in small circles close by.

Your helper needs to stay alert, and be ready to get out of the way if your horse stops listening, shoulders out of or into his circles in an attempt to get closer to his friend, or has a real fit. Be alert and safe, as with all equine related activities. But for the most part, your helper can just sit there and relax.

Work your horse, trotting, not walking, we want it to be hard enough work to make being elsewhere and standing still preferable to being with his buddy and working, until he starts wanting to slow down and relax. If your horse is one who will quite willingly slow down after three strides of a trot, work them longer than that, of course.

At this point, you want to come out of your circle and get headed away from the other horse, then drop back to a walk. Walk a little further away than you were the last time you stopped, and have your horse stand. If he'll stand calmly, praise and pet him and relax a bit for a few minutes. If not, simply keep him from going back to the other horse for a minute or two, and then trot back to the buddy and repeat the process.

Doing this consistently, and you can use this method while you're out and about if your horse starts acting buddy sour, will convince your horse that being away from his buddy, and going away from his buddy, is less work than throwing a fit, even a minor one, gets him.

If your horse can walk calmly with the other horse on the trails and only throws a fit when you ask him to go away from his friend, then ask him to go away a few times during the ride, and repeat this process until your horse will leave his friend willingly.

This process also works with barn sour horses, with the variation being that instead of another horse, you make your horse work when he's near the barn, and let him rest when he's away from the barn.

I've seen this method click with some horses almost instantly, but there are no magic wands. Expect to continue this training for a while, until your horse will willingly do what you ask, whether he's pointed away from his friend or not.

For horses sour about being left behind, change things up a bit. Have your helper ride away, and when your horse starts having a fit, let the other horse keep walking, but trot your horse around them in a circle. This takes a little coordination and keeping your head in the game, but it's imperative that your horse associate following a moving horse with a lot of work. I would stay in the arena or corral for this method as much as you can.

Also, make your circles more elliptical... stretch them out in front and in back, but stay fairly close on the sides. This helps both with keeping the two horses from colliding, and also with making sure your horse associates the work with following the other horse.

Again, when your horse starts to want to slow down and take it easy, stop, and let the other horse continue walking away. If your horse gets antsy, repeat. If he stands calmly as the other horse leaves, praise him and let him relax. Here, I'm going to say that if your horse stands calmly when the other horse gets outside his normal comfort zone, have your helper stop.

It's very easy to undo good training by trying to push it too far, too fast. The whole point of this is to convince your horse that the world is not going to end if his buddy/the barn is too far away, so increasing his comfort zone slowly until he can be out of sight of the object of his affections will give you a solid foundation.

In the long run, it's better to do things slowly and gently, working with the horse's own natural inclinations (because let's face it, what horse wouldn't prefer standing and getting petted to working his butt off? those small circles aren't easy at the trot) than to push them too hard, and you'll build a great working relationship with your horse at the same time.

Surprise!

While I'm gone, Ya'll will be getting a treat. The inestimable Ambulance Driver himself has agreed to grace my little blog with his genius.

So keep checking back, folks. You'll be getting one canned post from me, and one fresh one from AD.

Have I mentioned lately how fantastic, smart, witty, handsome, funny, fabulous and super I think he is? No? Well, I do.