Wait, What?

Perusing my sitemeter I came across this link.

I'm not really sure what the heck is going on with this but I'm kind of flattered that they included this little blog in it.

Anyone have any ideas as to what the heck this is all about?

Ohhkay Then

Well. Apparently I've become an organized writer over night. Either that or I'm being possessed by a character that I didn't know about.

That new thing I mentioned briefly before? It's taking on a life of it's own. It's been cropping up here and there (at least once a day, not always when I'm writing) for a while. I finally decided to sit down and take some notes on it. All of a sudden I have a concept, a general plot outline, an idea of who my villain(s) are, and a list (yes, a list... I never list things, except on the blog for clarity) of Questions That Must Be Answered.

I'm stopping now because I'm starting to get dizzy and I think if I don't I'll come back to myself in six months with a finished novel....

And everyone thinking I'm dead.

Dumb Question, Lady.

The customer service craze has gone entirely too far when people stop noticing critical details, in favor of a generic greeting.

For instance, if a young woman walks up to your grocery store check out line looking pale, droopy, wearing baggy clothes and purchasing only the jumbo size Jug-O-Pepto, a cheerful "And how are you today?" Just isn't all that appropriate.

I spent yesterday with one end or the other aimed at the toilet. Today isn't so bad, I've been able to stay out of the bathroom for significant amounts of time and I've even felt brave enough to leave the house a couple of times. To get the Pepto, for instance. I haven't puked at all today, yay me! But I do have a knot in my stomach that is just not fun at all.

Regardless, when I'm feeling like something that got run over in the pasture, I don't want some chirpy cashier making me feel that much worse by being (argh) perky.

Writing, Writing, Writing away...

Ya'll have been woefully neglected lately, and I sincerely apologize. I've been writing my coon-dog butt off lately, and none of it has been for this blog. Bad Farmgirl!

But, I have made some progress on Jane, and I'm considering starting another book that's been floating around in the back of my head. Just gotta draw up an outline so I know what the heck I'm writing about. And figure out my characters. The protagonist is already jumping up and down in the back of my head screaming for her chance, and screaming at me that I made her a hooker in an earlier short version of the concept. Sorry, lady, but you won't even tell me your name....

Meanwhile, I've been reading Miss Snark's Blog like it's holy writ. Stumbled across it through some of my web cruising in writers resources, trying to learn a bit about the publishing business before I finish the book or books and start diving in with query letters. Miss Snark, while no longer posting, unfortunately, is an agent in New York and she straightens out some of the more convoluted pathways to that great brass ring, becoming a published author.

She's my hero. Whoever she is.

Also, I've been trying to write some more currently publishable stuff, short stories for magazines and such. Haven't gotten them to the polished gem state yet, so nothing is sent off, but I'm working on it.

Trying to break into writing for money is a bit frustrating, to be honest. I'm working hard and getting a lot done, without a lot of real results except for the ever-increasing word counts on my own personal hard drive. Once I get something published, I'm going to be doing a happy dance, and rubbing Cowboy Mechanic's nose in the check.

He's very supportive of my writing, in a "that's cute honey, you go ahead and write" kind of way. He asks about progress, how much I got written on a particular day, and makes appreciative noises when I say that I came up with a fantastic concept for a short story... but he's not a writer, so the finer points escape him, most of the time. Ah well, can't have everything, and I have other writers I can talk to, when they're not just as swamped as I get sometimes. ( Ya hear me, AD?? I'm gonna be sending you some more stuff soon!)

And, that's what I've been doing. I'll try to share more with ya'll as I can. I'm going to withhold Jane, evil person that I am, on the chance that she'll get published, but I'll share some of the short stories.

I'll try to be a better blogger from here out.

On The Road Again, Just Can't Wait To Be On Th.... Hey! Slow Down!

Well, Farmgirl is back on the road, albeit perhaps for a short time.

Got a call last night from a good friend who happens to be a Stuporvisor for the old company, and he was in a bit of a bind. Sure thing, bud, I'll work a day or two and help you out.

Gratitude is always a good thing. A paycheck ain't nothing to sneeze at either.

Friends... your loving scribe may not be getting swivel-chair spread (ha, like I'd ever be that lucky!) from her newfound devotion to her writing and schoolwork, but she is woefully out of road-work shape. And color, although I got a good start on rectifying that little problem with the spiffy sunburn I got today.

I also ran into yet another of those people who know, and like, and remember me vividly.... and I have no freaking clue who they are. Maybe Farmmom can help me out on this one, T.L.M. company supervisor, long black hair, goatee. He mentioned you too, woman, so I'm halfway hoping you don't know who the heck he is either, at least then I'll know I'm not the only one.

Meanwhile, I had the "easy" job today (unfortunately not the easiest, I wasn't boss's little helper) in the middle. Got to stand by the hole they're digging and watch them play with their over sized Tonka toys.

The minute problem with this is that the hole they're digging is apparently smack on top of the "seepage" area for an old gas station. And by seepage, I mean massive tank failure.

We're talking black, slimy mud, that smells like old diesel and gas. You know, that stuff that granddad bought forty years ago and stuck in the barn "for later" and forgot about, until he wanted you to clean out said barn and the fifty gallon drums disintegrated as soon as you touched them.

They dug it up. They covered it over with fresh dirt. At this point I breathed a sigh of relief that was entirely too early. They dug it up again, played in it, made mud pies, turned it over, did a pagan rite that I'm pretty sure isn't legal to participate in in private in at least three states, let alone in broad daylight on a public highway in rural Colorado. In between each of these activities they'd stand around and look at it.

This, for those of you who aren't familiar with the road construction (and probably any other construction) biz, is what is known as "the FUBAR mind meld."

It is used when something is Effed Up Beyond All Recognition to the point that no one can even think of something to do that looks constructive. So they gather in groups and stare at the problem, willing it away.

Frankly when things like that happen outside of the area I have to run traffic in, I just erect a simple SEP field (linkage provided for the non-Hitchhikers in my readership) around it and continue with my day.

It would have worked too, if the odor hadn't been so danged obnoxious, jumping up and down and causing drivers to suddenly lose consciousness as they went past.

Farmgirl has a headache. And feet aches. And knee aches, and back aches, and sunburn aches. And she smells like a hooker on an abandoned oiler rig.

I'm off to shower, take some Advil, and collapse into my loving bed. Tomorrow, I'll probably be in jail for murdering my friend, who learned too well from Farmmom and asked me if I could work the rest of the week this morning when I was feeling good.

*grumble* Nine hour days means I can work through Friday before I get shut down on hours. Thankfully, they plan to cover the muck up again tomorrow, although I fear that leaving it exposed tonight means that we'll discover two-headed giraffes have invaded Holly tomorrow.

Either that or Zaphod Beeblebrox will show up to tell me that I'm an insufferable prat.

As long as he's holding a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster that I can use to burn out my nose, I'm fine with that....

Quitting Smoking, Redux

So. I've come back around to another stab at quitting smoking, but I'm trying to be smart about it. Last time, I tried cold turkey (again) and it didn't work (again.)

So, Stage One, list all of the methods I've tried that didn't work:

Cold Turkey: Several times. Not a pretty sight, trust me.

Nicotine Inhaler: Yeah, these did squat for me, except give me something to grind my teeth on.

Nicotine Gum: Two words: Nasty Shit. Maybe it could have helped but after the third piece I just couldn't bring myself to use it anymore.

Meditation: Hey, it's my head, I can control it, right? Wrong.

Self-help style positive thinking: I put post-it notes with reasons I should stop smoking and motivational phrases everywhere. The major benefit of this was to give me targets when I got to the point of throwing things.

Homeopathic "Happy Camper" pills: Anti-depressants help with withdrawal symptoms. It's fairly well proven. Course, I figured I'd try the natural stuff because I could get it over the counter. I actually tried the brand name Happy Camper, main ingredient Kava Kava. I was happy enough on them, sort of floaty and "meh" inside. Problem is, the "meh" part. And, you know, the complete inability to show much emotion whatsoever.

Wellbutrin: After the Happy Campers, I decided to actually go to the doctor and see what she said. She slapped me on Wellbutrin and told me to use a nicotine replacement therapy. The Wellbutrin made me high as a kite in thirty minute cycles for about a week, and it did help a little with the worst of the mood issues, but over all it was yet another failure.

Some of these were tried in combination, some on their own. The only thing they all really have in common is the fact that they didn't work.

Stage Two, research methods that I haven't used.

Patches: Well, these I'm leery of, because they lower your blood pressure, and I run pretty low to begin with. As in, when I go to the doctor at home where the nurses know me they jokingly ask if I'm going to be dead today when they take my blood pressure. Grandpa can't use them for the same reason, except I think his doctor offered to just knock him in the head and toss him in a hole if he was that determined to kill himself.

Losenges: Hmm. I don't know if these lower your blood pressure, but I'm looking at them from the perspective of knowing myself. When I start putting things in my mouth when I'm trying to quit smoking... I don't stop. So, there's the definite chance that I'll just keep popping the suckers compulsively till I OD. Say what? Keep to the schedule? You're funny.

More Homeopathic Stuff: I've been researching this kind of stuff for a while, and there are several brand names that seem promising on the surface of things. Of course I don't trust claims of miracle cures, but looking more at the possible actual benefits there are a few that I feel might actually help.

The issue here, of course, is the lack of reliable studies. Certain things, like hypnosis or acupuncture, some people swear by, and others swear at. A serious shortage of independent information is an issue here. I'm discarding any methods or treatments that seem inherently dangerous, including one blogger's assertion that he quit smoking the simplest way in the world, no outside gimmicks necessary. He simply put his hands on his neck and squeezed for one minute every time he had a craving!

Now, every homeopathic quit smoking method or aid has it's own dedicated cheering section. Some of them are made up entirely of company stooges, and some of them aren't. Its digging through the hype to the real meat of the product that is the challenge, when faced with flashy ads and miracle claims.

Now, I'd love to putter my way through all of these methods till I found one that worked for me, but frankly, if I were that rich I'd hire someone to slap me upside the head every time I lit a smoke, or have myself put to sleep for a couple of weeks and in a small padded room for a couple more.

Thus, research.

I'm leaning towards methods that don't require me to take pills every day, because frankly I'm not that good at remembering them. That's why I use OrthoEvra instead of the pill. I know, I know, TMI.

That's not to say that I'm completely discounting methods with pills, just that they're not my first choice.

So. Calling all former smokers, all across the intarwebz! What worked for you? What were the upsides, the downsides, side effects? How was your mental state while using the product or method and were you able to stop using the product or method easily?

I want to know what didn't work for you as well. Why didn't it work?

I really want to know, folks, so please, email me, or leave a comment here. I don't care if you stumbled across this blog from an internet search, you're a regular reader, or a monkey with a computer and a pogo stick, I want to know. I want to know about any method or product that you've tried, I want to know about all of them. Even the ones I mentioned here as not working for me. Maybe I was doing it wrong, and you can set me straight.

Fun Fun Fun in the sun.

Techniques

There are a lot of techniques out there for everything, these days, especially horse training.

Everyone thinks they have the ultimate training regime, to make the best possible horse. A few people are open enough to accept new ideas, and incorporate them into their own ways of doing things.

I'm going to talk about a couple of different philosophies and how I feel about them, here. Feel free to put in your own opinions in the comments, of course.

We'll start with the most recognizable: Natural Horsemanship. Pat Parelli and Clinton Anderson are two of the more famous advocates of this philosophy.

I like Natural Horsemanship, the basis of the technique is working with your horse in a way that speaks to his natural inclinations, that he can understand. There are a lot of things that can be accomplished this way, and while they may take a little longer, I think they turn out a better understanding between horse and rider.

I use several of Parelli and Anderson's specific techniques myself, from teaching a horse to lower it's head to avoid needing a stepladder to bridle or halter them, to using the round pen to establish or re-establish my dominant position in the herd. I use other techniques that are Natural-esque that I've figured out on my own, and a couple of those are what brought Monkey to the point of showing properly at halter from not wanting to lead at all, and also brought him to the point where you can pick up his feet without him going bug nuts on you.

One thing that I feel Natural Horsemanship is lacking, for all of it's value in communicating with the horse on a level that his mind can understand easily, is the consequences side of the coin.

Yes, Anderson uses harder work as a consequence, especially for gate or barn sour horses, but a herd doesn't trot or lope a horse in circles if they do something the more dominant members don't like. That's a consequence that the horse comes to understand, but not one that speaks to his natural bent.

Horses in a herd environment punish bad behavior with nips, and kicks. So why is it wrong to slap a hip with a cupped hand to simulate a light kick, or use fingers on a neck to intimate a nip? This is how your horse's mother taught him the social niceties of living in a herd in the first place. I'm not talking about beating a horse, or even making it hurt, I'm talking about just enough to get their attention.

Again, take Monkey for example. When I was working with him on his feet, it started as a matter of trust. I had to desensitize him and let him know that I wasn't going to hurt his fragile legs when I handled them. We spent a long time after workouts just touching and rubbing and asking him to stand still when I did it.

After a while, he started letting me pick his feet up. So I started working with him when he wasn't worked. And he went right back to his old habits. He knew what I wanted from him. He simply didn't want to comply. A little patient work, with very little result, and I found myself in a conundrum. That is, until I tried a back foot and he kicked at me, and I reacted instead of thinking. I hauled off and smacked him on the hip, it made an impact and a sound, and he started a bit. Then I went to pick up the foot again, and lo and behold he didn't try kicking me again.

I had already established my dominance in his herd, and he was responding to the natural heirarchy. I didn't hurt him, but I did give a consequence that made him understand that that wasn't acceptable, in a way that he's learned and lived with all his life.

That's what I mean about consequences the horse understands.

Now, a little further down the line from Natural Horsemanship falls Alexander Nevzorov. If you haven't heard of him, and I would be surprised if very many of you have, you can search his last name and find his website.

His precept, that a horse should be trained without use of a bit, spurs, or any form of restraint, is a bit extreme for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the kind of communication and camaraderie that allows you to work with your horse without those things. I just don't agree with doing away with them altogether.

Frankly, I don't see how it could possibly be safe. Of course, if you're going to learn his methods, or even participate in the online school forums, he requires that you first stop riding for at least a year, and reject completely all horse "sports." Which takes out the possibility of an exited horse running off in a crowd setting, to be sure.

The thing that really rubs me the wrong way about Nevzorov is the ego, honestly. He's demanding of his "students" and that's fine, but he's also placing demands on the general public, vilifying anyone who rides with a bit at all, and maintaining a PETA-throwing-paint-on-furs-esque drive to show the cruelty of bits in general.

Oh, and the hypocrisy of demanding that students or even curious passers by swear to his ideals before even going to his online forums, and at the same time maintaining a photo gallery of the "vicious sports" and encouraging the like-minded to haunt events to get more of these pictures is astounding.

So, while he may have methods that are useful, insightful, and downright genius, I don't know them. I won't go into his forums to see if any of them are posted, and I won't purchase his video.

You can find video of his results on the internet, on Youtube, and I admit that they're rather impressive. It's a beautiful thing to see a horse playing with a person at complete liberty, jumping and kicking and never touching the man standing in front of them. It's enough to give you chills when you see the horse perform a flawless courbette without any prompting at all, just because they enjoy it.

It's too bad that the master of these techniques is more concerned about immediately solving the problem he perceives in horsemanship than in sharing the knowledge that allows him to do these things. He'd probably win more hearts freely showing people his techniques and speaking gently against the things he eschews, than by adopting his extremist moral high ground.

I have to wonder how many people out there are like me, intrigued by the concept and thirsty for knowledge, but completely turned off by the manner in which the precept is presented?

Surely I'm not the only one?