A Few Things

First off, ya'll remember the story I posted up here last? The one with all the pecker jokes? I'm revising that, filling in some blanks, polishing it up, and preparing for our Administrative Visitor in Creative Writing.

See, the school wants to see that the instructor is doing her job, and she decided the best way to do that is to have everyone give a reading. And, after a set of instructions that included "I will not tell you what you can and cannot say. Just remember the audience. If you're comfortable saying fuck in front of an administrator, then go for it," I decided that it was my duty to represent freedom of writing.

Besides, I've been wanting to revise that one since I wrote it.


Second, thank you all for your kind suggestions on saddle makers. I really appreciate the input!

However, guys, please understand, I can't go to Oregon, or California, for a saddle. I just can't. I don't have the money for the visit for the initial fitting, on top of the cost of the saddle itself, let alone enough to check the fit as the saddle is built. Since fit is one of my major concerns, I want to be able to check on that.

I have been watching tack sales and farm sales, too, but I run across the same problem. The vast majority of people just don't ride a saddle under fifteen and a half inches. Which means the sales are chock full of saddles that size and larger, but once again, not in the size I need. I have found some youth saddles, but that comes back to the working weight problem. I have examined options that don't cost an arm and a leg, folks, it just comes right back to the fact that short of a miracle, some other tiny person deciding to not ride anymore and giving up their custom saddle, I'm not gonna be that lucky.

Farmmom joked that I should run a Buy Farmgirl A New Saddle fund raiser. Frankly, good people, I'm considering it. I was looking at my synthetic yesterday and the poor thing is getting a little worn. It just wasn't built to do as much work as I've been putting it to. It's not falling apart yet, but it is showing some real signs of wear.

So, before I start asking ya'll for money, I'm asking your opinion. If I were to go ahead and set up a Paypal account and/or provide a mailing address, would you donate? And, whether you would or not, would you feel it was a good cause? Or sheer personal greed?

Please folks, I'm not asking for money yet, I just want to know the general feeling on such a donation drive. If it's mostly negative, I won't ask ya'll to give up your hard-earned cash.

If it's mostly positive though, I might be able to get the saddle a lot sooner than if I have to save little by little. Frankly, with the cash flow I have right now, it's looking like I'm going to graduate before I can afford it, with no income other than my student aid during the semester, and having to save a certain amount from any work I do in the summers to help with expenses during the school year.

So please, comment here, email me, let me know your opinion on the subject!

These Circles.... Are ROUND!!!

It's magic. It's a miracle. It's the circle, done right.

Yesterday, Monkey was being a jerkoff right off the bat. I knew he would be, I didn't get him worked very well Sunday, and the wind was blowing like crazy.

I got on him before class to see how much of a jerkoff he was going to be. The answer was a big one.

So, we went to the round pen. I worked him pretty hard, to get all of the energy he was using to be a brat off so that he'd pay attention, and then we went back to the indoor arena in time to catch the beginning of class.

He behaved much better after that.

Since we'd reviewed the rules for National Reining Horse Association competitions yesterday morning in Eval, Marilyn decided to do some circles and stops. First we had circles, small circles at the lope to either direction with a simple lead change in between.

Monkey actually made round circles!! Without a huge fight! I was so proud. The only little snag we had was that he didn't want to get up into the lope on the second circle, and I had to whallop his sides.

By the time we did stops he had his second wind back again, we did a couple at the trot and a couple at the lope. Trotting... well, he kind of sucked. He hasn't learned to bring his back feet up underneath him on a stop from the trot. But he stopped fairly light, at least. The lope, he did pretty good on the first one, when I stopped him with both hands. The second one, I tried him one handed and he tried to peel off on me.

I'm trying to ride him neck-reined at least part of the time, for two reasons. I worked really hard to get him started on neck reining last semester and I've been neglecting it a bit this semester, and he's forgetting what he learned. And, because neck reining gives him looser reins, by definition, which will help soften his mouth up as he's not as heavy a contact all the time as with direct reining.

Mostly though, I'm just glad he decided to behave. Hopefully he got enough energy burned off yesterday that I won't have to work him before I ride today, but I've got more time between classes today, so I should be able to go out pretty early and get his stall stripped and re-bedded (I would have done it yesterday, but the shavings would have blown away before I could get them to the barn.) Then, if I'm still early, I can get him warmed up before class enough that I'll know if I need to round pen him or not.

I don't think he wants to make Mommy mad enough to get off again though. He never wins, I always make him do something properly before I get off, even to go to the round pen. But, he might be learning that being an utter brat when he knows better only gets him a lot more sweat than he would have had otherwise.

One can always hope, anyway.

Saddles

So, I've been looking at saddles, because, let's face it, as much as I love my synthetic for long hours in the saddle with light work, it just isn't a working-weight saddle. Plus, like every saddle I've ever ridden, it is technically too big for me, at sixteen inches.

Since I've never had a saddle that actually fits me I've asked a few people what the proper size for my tiny butt would be, and I've been told a fourteen to fourteen and a half inch seat should fit me fairly well.

Off the rack there are precisely two styles of saddle that come in fourteen inches. Barrel racing saddles, and youth saddles.

Not exactly working weight either.

So my only real option for a saddle that actually fits me is a custom. Which translates roughly as "go ahead and sell your eggs cause that's the only way you're gonna afford this."

But, being an optimist, I've been perusing websites for custom saddlemakers near enough to me for me to visit in person, first. Because I'm picky, and if I'm going to pay that much money for anything I'm going to see the quality of the goods in person before I commit to it.

I've only found one that I like what I see on the site well enough to consider it a real option, rather than a maybe.

We're talking right at three grand for a basic saddle, no tooling, no extras. Meanwhile I want at least corner basket weave and a border to strengthen the leather, strings, a padded seat, and rawhide covering on the cantle roll and a horn bead in rawhide.

Nothing extremely fancy, although if I'm laying out that much cash I might go the extra hundred bucks to get my initials brand-style on it.

So I'm looking at $3,500 to $4,000.

All because I've got a tiny butt and can't buy a working weight saddle off the rack.

On the other hand, if the quality is as good as it looks, that saddle will last me literally for the rest of my life. Heck, Farmdad's saddle belonged to his grandpa, who had it built custom in the 20's, and that one has been ridden in feedlots and banged around working, and has only had the fleece, the seat, and the leather on the swells replaced.

A truly high quality saddle will be in your will, and if I'm going to spend as much on a saddle as I did on my car, I want that quality.

So, the tax return is going in the special saddle account, and I'll be continuing to save my pennies.

Maybe I'll be able to afford it by the time I'm thirty.....

Edit on the Last Post

Edit:

The next time your hubby, or boyfriend, or babbydaddy or whatever the crap he is to you starts screaming in the hall and threatening to knock the door down I'm not going to wait for you to call the cops. I'm going to do it myself.

Some of us have shit to do later today. And it's three thirty in the fucking morning. Just feel lucky I didn't poke my little head out the door and encourage him to leave in my own manner, with a club.


Edit again:
Is my neighbor's babydaddy Sumdood???

A Friendly Note To The Neighbors.

Dear Neighbors:

I understand that you folks have a large family on a single income. I understand completely the pressures of taking care of a family on a limited amount of money. I even understand that kids will be kids and noisy sometimes.

However, it is not that expensive to buy lightbulbs, nor lamps. Lamps in your apartment would allow you to pop your son's cyst in the privacy of your own home. They would negate the need to open your door to see to change the baby's diaper when it is screaming like a banshee.

Also, it is not necessary to turn the rampaging horde of elephant-footed children out into the halls at nine o'clock at night to keep the rest of the building awake.

You see, I get up early. I know you know it because I've seen you glaring out your door on the mornings after your spawn have been thundering up and down the stairs until after midnight, because on those mornings, I don't take any particular care to be quiet when I leave in the morning. When your offspring don't keep me up, I won't wake you up.

Oh, and when you come begging for ten dollars so that you can get medicine for your daughter, having just gotten back from the ER, and I tell you I don't have any cash, don't look at me like I'm a racist just because I'm white and you're not. I could give a crap what color you or your kids are. If I'd had the money I'd have loaned it to you, because I'm a nice person like that. Unfortunately, because of your attitude, you've convinced me that you feel entitled to anything you want, which I see as a serious character flaw and not to be encouraged.

And by the way, the next time one of your kids knocks on my window I'm going to have to smack them upside their little head.

So, to summarize... I don't need to walk out my door to see you popping your son's cysts, hear your baby screaming her head off, or the thundering herd up and down the stairs, or have your children knocking on my window.

Mmkay?

-Farmgirl

Well That Sucks.

I don't know what the deal was last night, but I woke up at eleven, and couldn't get back to sleep until after one. It's gonna be a loooong day.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot????

Folks, this is a public service announcement right here. Anyone who works with horses, or knows someone who does, needs to pay attention to this.

There is a man out there, advertising that he has the final solution to a bucking horse, a device that will stop the buck in its tracks, which is humane and an effective training tool.

He's full of shit.

I refuse to link to the site here, but I will tell you the name of the device. It is the Barnes No Buck Horse Trainer. Look it up if you like.

This device is an adjustable leather halter, with aircraft cable run through pulleys on the ends of the cheek pieces, up and around the ears of the horse. Once you have the halter on, you simply tie a rein to the conveniently looped ends of the cable, and hook it over your saddle horn.

I'm going to quote here the inventor himself on the effect of the device.

"It can't buck you - when he puts his head down it puts pressure on the nerves and paralyzes the horse. A horse can't buck very hard with its head up."

W. T. F.

Ok let's take this one step at a time for those of my readers who may not be familiar with one of the basic concepts of horse training for fun and profit.

The entire basis of training a prey animal is, at its heart, pressure, and release. The main response of an animal which has the instincts of those who are hunted is to move away from pressure. This may sound backwards on some things, but let me explain.

When you are teaching a horse to drive, that is, teaching him what you want when you direct him with the reins one way or another, you pull on the rein on the side you want him to go. By moving in that direction he is positioning his body and his head to ease that pressure, moving the point of contact away from the direction the pressure is coming from.

Same thing on round penning. You put "pressure" on the back half of the horse in the form of body language, a swinging rope, or a lunge whip making noise, and they move forward. Move your body to be in front of his shoulder and you've moved the pressure from the back to the front, and he slows or stops.

In this way we make doing what we want the horse to do the easy thing for it to do. Consistent application of pressure and release will get you from Point A to Point B in a consistent fashion, is easy for the horse to learn, and is a solid foundation on which to build a relationship of trust with your horsey friend.

These are signals that are readily understood by the horse because it fits in with their mentality. Yours too. Think about it, if someone pokes you, you move away.

Now, let's consider once again this so-called miracle device. The steel cable runs up and around the ears, with a connecting... something... spreading the effect across the poll. A definite pressure point and one that every trainer calls upon at some point or other, in my experience usually in the form of using the halter to pull a horse's head down for the bridle, or using draw reins to correct a horse's headset.

But the point of this device is not to get the horse to lower his head. No, friends, that would make entirely too much sense. The point of this amalgamation of bad ideas is to keep the horse's head up. When the horse lowers his head, the "rein" attached to this torture device pulls on the steel cable, which puts pressure on the poll and around the ears, pushing the horse's head down. Lowering the head in response to the downward pressure only increases that pressure, which, duh, becomes painful.

Eventually, the confused equine learns that pressure at the poll means "put your head up!" Which would undoubtedly effect future training efforts in the area of bridling etiquette, and leading at halter. After all, who doesn't want to refine their horse's leading until he'll walk quietly beside you without you ever having to touch the lead?

And, dear friends, this is all without ever mentioning the fact that a horse who truly wants to buck and be cranky will learn that the only thing stopping him is that device. Which means, the instant you saddle up without it, you're getting piled, and piled hard.

And the charlatan passing this... thing.... off as an effective and humane training tool has the gall to not only offer to buy any horse that can buck him off wearing it (his brother has a string of rodeo broncs, ya know,) but to charge over two hundred dollars for it.

Sure, it might work, but I have to wonder how many horses who are simply confused, nervous, or lacking in confidence in the human race (well with this sorry specimen running around can we really blame them?) are going to be tortured because of one man's stupidity.

If this dude was any closer, I'd have to take a road trip, just so I could slap him upside his damn fool head.

I'll leave you with a quote from his promotional video....

"This is perfect for children, older people, and wimmin and such."

And my response to that quote......

"Fuck you buddy, learn to ride."